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Question
Posted by: Anon | 2008/08/22

Confused

I always believed that a child out of wedlock was not a good idea... not because I thought any less of these women but because i realised that it could be very hard being a single parent. THen I found myself in the position where I had a baby with a man who wasnt interested in marrying me. This did not concern me because although we were in a relationship I was still independant and could look after my child. However I always said that I would always try to make it work with the father of my child and ideally i would like to end up with him in a stable home, married and raising my child. We were on the road to this until he cheated on me and chose the other woman. I somehow was emotionally dependant on him, and would forgive him over and over for what he did to me, to the point where he continues knowing that I am a very forgiving person. Six months after our breakup he came back telling me he wanted us to try again, I had my reservations because in the 6 months I became very assertive and was sure of what I wanted and he did not feature in my life.

Unfortunately he managed to get under my skin and wormed his way back into my bed. When I told him I needed more than just being a cow (he wants the milk but doesnt want to buy the cow) he told me that he had issues and didnt want to make hasty decision.

I want this rollercoaster to end because I realised that he is manipulating me. I want to go and see a psychologist and would lke to know if he / she will be able to help me get over this man and also enable me to become strong and not allow people to take advantage of me.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Well, it sure sounds as though he has "issues", but possesion of "issues" should not be allowed to be an excuse for behaving irresponsibly or unkindly. A psychologist / counsellor should be able to help you clarify what you actually want in life, and how to get there from here, and how to use this experience as a basis for learning how to avoid being gulible and vulnerable to people seeking to take advantage of you.
If someone has hurt you, do not accept there mere promise to change and accept them promptly back --- the chance you should give them is to allow them to change, and to later prove to you that they HAVE changed, not merely hoped to do so or said that they would do so.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Lolo | 2008/08/22

hi dear take CS advice,

i took that advice too and believe me you have to make yourself happy first, analyze yourself and take a good care of your heart.

Reply to Lolo
Posted by: EL | 2008/08/22

Stay strong, if you really feel like giving him another chance then give him that chance, maybe he really wants to change, you will never know. Do whatever your heart tells you to do.

Reply to EL

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