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Question
Posted by: Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde | 2008/08/04

Confused

Hi CS and other forumers,
My boyfriend and I are expecting a baby. Although this was originally planned, it didnt happen at the anticipated time, only 3 months later.
Anyway since failling pregnant he has been acting all weird. He is irritable, doesnt make time for us to go out anymore, has new friends and so-called business partners and as such spends most of his time with them. This hurt me a lot to the point that I suspected that he was cheating and the suspicion is still there. I had been the one constantly making amends in this relationship and after a week of things being back to normal, this past weekend he went away to another province with his friends and didnt even bother calling. When I tried calling him his phone was off. He only called back last night and started apologising about not calling and blamed everything on leaving his charger behind and his phone dying.
Coincidentally this is the weekend I also used to reflect on my life and what I want to do and how do I move forward in his absence. Must say I was doing well up until he called and the soft spot I have for him just made me want to forgive him all over again. My concern is that if I let these things slide I might get myself in those socalled on and off relationship trends and I dont want this. How do i tackle this situation? I know being a single mother is tough but I had looked into this option, at the same time if he can revert to who he was when the baby was planned then I do want to be with him. I love him but feel that he isnt returning the favour and my dr had warned me about the effect of stress on my unborn. Last time I tried to have a decent discussion with hin about his actions and wanting to make peace, he stormed out of the bed...Any advice? Thanks!

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Our expert says:
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I'm guessing that it is you who has fallen pregnant, not him, though that seems to be what you are saying ! Men often respond oddly to a pregnancy, and often not in the way that they expected to do. But he does sound neglectful, and ought to be far more attentive towards you in this situation. Why not se a relationship coujnsellor together to sort out just what is happening, and what would be the best way of dealing with it. And then the discussion would have an expert referee at hand !

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