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Question
Posted by: Alan | 2011/06/14

Conflicting thoughts &  thinking process

I''m in a relationship but recently we just end up bring more harm to each other than what our feelings are telling us.When there is a problem our view on the issue is totally different &  we think differently.Even when emails are sent there is at times misunderstanding which causes alot of heartache &  we both go into a tizz with just telling each other off.At times it seems there is no way forward with the way we think ,understand &  interact with each other.There are however other factors to this relationship ,we both work together in the same office &  we do have spouses.

Please advise us what is the way forward or are we just making each others life a nightmare?

Thanks

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Anne makes good sense.
If you both have spouses, you are both maried, and being unfaihful to your spouses, which is a BAD thing, and unkind to innocents. And if this relationship is so unsatisfying and such hard work - why on earth do you continue to pursue it ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Molly | 2011/06/16

I''m sorry Alan but asking for help to keep an affair going is just wrong. Why the hell did you get married if you want to chase other women? You ask doc why you cant communicate? Well, apart from the fact that you shouldn''t actually be communicating with her the way you are, maybe she wants out of the affair and is trying to cause so much tension that you call it quits?

Reply to Molly
Posted by: Terry | 2011/06/15

I''ve just replied to a story very similiar on this.I''m sure you feel the worst seeing the comments that came tthru ,whch by the way is true.I''m a medical Prof in this field &  one thing can tell you to do is stop &  get out of this affair.If you truely feel strong for the other person ,you will do the right thing &  stop bringing harm to the both.By going on like this you will strip each other to the core &  then there will be nothing to salvage.Rather sit down discuss like adults ,don''t play the blaming game ,cut off this affair but not like enemies because then that shows no feelings in the first place.You will also have to talk about one of you leaving the department ,remember the pain is now but the gain for you both will come with time.Also life is a cycle so you never what may happen down the road - so be polite to each.Break up is the part were you have to show sensitivity to each other &  respect eash others thoughts.
I wish you well &  with time the pain will ease but it depends on the both from this point on that.

Reply to Terry
Posted by: Alan | 2011/06/14

Thanks all for your comments.Please would the Doctor reply &  those that have been in a similar situation.

DOCTOR - Thanks for your comment ,would you be able to advise why thou we don''t understand each other,that causes conflict ,our thoughts are different?

Reply to Alan
Posted by: Romany | 2011/06/14

You are stupid and deserve to be kicked out by your spouses. The wheel turns

Reply to Romany
Posted by: Anne | 2011/06/14

You both ahve spouses? So, let me get this, you are both married to other people?

Affairs are supposed to be fun. It is your marriage that is supposed to be hard work.

Maybe this is a sign that what you are doing is sinful and wrong, and you should end the relationship immediately and focus on being a good husband to your WIFE.

Reply to Anne
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/06/14

Anne makes good sense.
If you both have spouses, you are both maried, and being unfaihful to your spouses, which is a BAD thing, and unkind to innocents. And if this relationship is so unsatisfying and such hard work - why on earth do you continue to pursue it ?

Reply to cybershrink

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