Posted by: Kelly | 2009-04-02


I have a confession to make...
I have been with my bf for over a year now and i have only cum twice while having sex but pretend that i cum everytime so that he dsn' t feel bad.
Not sure if this is a problem because the sex is GREAT! just i don' t cum.We can be at it for hours, nothing.
Its like he won' t stop until i have cum, i get so exhausted sometimes that i pretend that i came so that we can take a break.

So now my question is, do i tell him? Do i continue pretending that im cumming when im not?
Sometimes he asks me how many times i have came... and il say twice, thrice... but i havn' t even once.
I feel bad lying to him but il feel even worse letting him know the truth.

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

many women cannot reach orgasm during normal coitus - its normal - he needs to understand that you enjoy it even if there is no orgasm on your oart. It different for men, cause the major pleasure is in the orgasm.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: boo | 2009-04-03

Hi Kelly,
I have a similar problem sometimes... I do orgasm, and often, but not every time my bf and I make love. once or twice when I didn' t come, he was upset, asking if he just didn' t do it for me, or if I didn' t want him. So then whenever I couldn' t come thereafter, I pretended to. I' ve only done it two or three times, and only when I just can' t come... sometimes even though the sex is great and you feel wonderful, you just can' t come, and maybe I feel as though it is better to pretend than to make my man feel inadequate, even though he does everything just right...
Maybe you are inhibiting yourself... remember that the mind is a powerful thing, and sometimes stress will affect you. After all, guys can have sex problems because of stress, so can women.
And another thing, multiple orgasms are great. but on occassion I get so light-headed that I almost pass out on top of my man! It' s as though he just tries so hard to get me to come often, and I love it, but I think he' d get offended if I fainted before he had finished... chin up girl... haven' t you ever heard of white lies...?

Reply to boo
Posted by: ME | 2009-04-02

Kelly, just give urself over to him whilst having sex, enjoy the experience. U r holding back due to a reason. Just let go girl.

Reply to ME
Posted by: Kelly | 2009-04-02

Well as i said before the sex is great he does everything i like and i can' t think of anything that would actually make me cum while doing it...I just can' t seem to come and not because of him.
I guess i try so hard to cum and really want to that i put too much pressure on wanting to cum to please him that it dsn' t happen at all.

Reply to Kelly
Posted by: Ken | 2009-04-02

DON' T fake your orgasms, is the worst thing you can do your man, it' s the worst type of deception.....come clean now and don' t do it again

Reply to Ken
Posted by: ME | 2009-04-02

Ur r just lying to urself. Instead tell him how and where to touch u. If he enjoys oral, let him give u oral to cum. Hope u watched ophra show last night. It dealt with the exact issue u just mentioned.

Reply to ME
Posted by: Np | 2009-04-02

Instead of telling him i think you should find out what makes you tick and direct him while having sex so that you can come for real and tthen you wont have to lie to him about it.Poor man maybe he is finishing himself up trying to make u come and yet he is hitting the wrong spots.

Reply to Np

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.