Our expert says:
OK, so one quick rule is "No playing in secret places". The choice of a secret place shows an awareness that what is being done is wrong, or at least disapproved of by adults. Wanting to put things in her vagina goes beyond ordinary play, which is more usually the "I'll show you mine if you show me yours" sort of exploratory stuff. As you say, one wonders where he might have got such ideas. It will also be worth reminding him that she has said to her mother than she doesn't like doing this stuff, and that he shouldn't play any sort of game with other kids that they don't want to play.
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