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Question
Posted by: E | 2010-10-11

concerned mother

HI, read that it is normal for 5 year olds to masturbate, but my son and his friend(girl) is constantly touching each other and out of their pants. Is this normal , I am afraid someone is going to get injured. And what must my reaction be, have spoken to him that his privates is not for other to touch. We do not allow them to watch tv with sex. Do I need to worry that someone is doing stuff with him? Do I need to take him to someone professional?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

For kids to masturbate, on their own is entirely normal and healthy. AT around 5, to experiment a bit with each other, is also more frequent and normal than most parents seem to recognize. I'm not sure, though, what you mean by "constantly", which sounds as though it lasts all day and they have to be dragged apart at mealtimes, and I doubt it is so. I don't see how injury could occur. Yes, it is wise to talk with the child about how private parts are meant to be private and to discourage too much playing around with other kids in this particular format. And point out that other people will be bothered by them doing this, so it is inconsiderate to others, too.
When you discuss this with him, what is his response ? Yes, it is possible that he has been interfered with by someone ( that is, sadly, a possibility with any child ) and more overtly sexual behaviour is something seen more often in kids who have been molested ; but most of the time it occurs, there has been no molestation.
If the behaviour continues, and appears resistant to your advice and encouragement to stop it, seeing a child psychologist could be useful to consider

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Our users say:
Posted by: e | 2010-10-12

Thanks for answer. Just refering to what I meant with constanty - when they play at each house(not everytime) my son will tell the girl to play in secret place and then touch each other. What I meant with injury, I heard him say he want to put one of his toys in her vagina and it would not hurt- that is when I was shocked. Did he maybe seen or heard it somewhere or can they think of such things so young. I did discussed it with her mom who said that she did tell her mom she doesn t like doing such stuff. I spoke to him yesterday and he answered that he does understand that it is their private parts and encourage to stop it.

Reply to e
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010-10-11

For kids to masturbate, on their own is entirely normal and healthy. AT around 5, to experiment a bit with each other, is also more frequent and normal than most parents seem to recognize. I'm not sure, though, what you mean by "constantly", which sounds as though it lasts all day and they have to be dragged apart at mealtimes, and I doubt it is so. I don't see how injury could occur. Yes, it is wise to talk with the child about how private parts are meant to be private and to discourage too much playing around with other kids in this particular format. And point out that other people will be bothered by them doing this, so it is inconsiderate to others, too.
When you discuss this with him, what is his response ? Yes, it is possible that he has been interfered with by someone ( that is, sadly, a possibility with any child ) and more overtly sexual behaviour is something seen more often in kids who have been molested ; but most of the time it occurs, there has been no molestation.
If the behaviour continues, and appears resistant to your advice and encouragement to stop it, seeing a child psychologist could be useful to consider

Reply to cybershrink

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