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Question
Posted by: TRACY | 2008/06/10

CONCERNED ABOUT SONS

MY SONS ARE 7 AND 3 BOTH ARE DISPLAYING BAD BEHAVIOUR THE 7 YEAR OLD DOES NOT WANT TO BEHAVE IN SCHOOL HE THINKS HIS THE CLOWN THE 3 YEAR OLD CRIES ALMOST FOR EVERY LITTLE THING WHAT DO I DO?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Shame, T, you sound a bit out of your depth --- try also posting this message on the parenting forum to get responses from more other parents. You sound like a single parent, as apparently there's no spouse to help deal with the problems ? Either way, set up simple, fair and basic rules for behaviour at home ( and at school ) with a chart where they earn a star for every day they keep the rules, and lose one for the days when they dotn't 10 stars earns a reward they want. really bad days earn a demerit and time out.

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: Maria | 2008/06/10

Tracy I suggest you post to the Parenting forum as well, and look through the posts there. Discipline is often discussed.

It is vitally important that mom and dad should show a united front, and work with the same rules and discipline techniques. Perhaps you and your husband can read some parenting books and agree on a way of doing things that will work for everybody? I like dr Kevin Leman's books.

It's important for the kids to know up front what is acceptable and not acceptable, and what the consequences are. E.g. if the child refuses to eat his food, tell him that's fine but you're not getting anything else until the next meal. Then stick to your guns when he whines about being hungry, don't let him call the shots. At 3 your younger son is capable of understanding a lot more than you probably give him credit for. If you e.g. ask him to pick up some toys and he refuses, tell him that you will take the toys and pack them away for a week. (This will of course only work if the toys are important to him.) Or take away some privilege, like watching tv.

Try to sort out their diet as well. The meals don't have to be elaborate but try to steer clear of too much sugar, colourants and flavourants. Some kids are allergic to those and it has a huge impact on their behaviour.

Something else you and your husband can do is to try and spend some relaxed time with each boy every day, even if you just play ball with him for 15 minutes. Children need your undivided attention.

Good luck!

Reply to Maria
Posted by: TRACY | 2008/06/10

Hi Maria
Thanks for the reply. Yes me and my husband are together for 10 years its been good and he is constant in thier lives, we have disagreements but its quickly sorted out. We have a good relationship besides for the fact that we augue over one thing constantly,that is discipline.I do not believe in hitting and my husband does. I was not always constant with my rules when disciplining the boys, they do not eat balanced meals because i work every day besides weekends, when i give them balanced meals . Ive contemplated leaving work because of my sons behaviour,that has become a new issue for me and my husband. Ive also realised that because of my sons ages they need different types of discipline.How do i discipline a 3 year old.

Reply to TRACY
Posted by: Maria | 2008/06/10

Tracy, is their a father figure in their lives? Do you have a fairly set routine for doing things? How do you discipline them? Are you consistent in the rules that you apply? Do they eat balanced meals at regular times? All those things and more can have an influence on children's behaviour.

Reply to Maria

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