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Question
Posted by: Hettie | 2008/09/25

Concerned about child behaviour

i got divorced 2 years ago. the kids are under my supervision but visits dad regularly. Believe it or not but my ex and i have a good relationship. we never fought when we were married and even now we still don' t fight. Especially not in front of the kids. The kids are 8 and 10 years of age. what bothers me is the fact that my 10 year old son doesn' t want me to interact with other men. no matter if it is old friends or new. he asks me stuff like.... is that your new boyfriend. it looks as if you like the guy because you were smiling at him and then he starts crying.what am i supposed to do??? i gave him the reinsurance that i will not just let anyone into our lives. as we have a very close relationship. i don' t want to hurt him, but i don' t want to stop talking to people just to satisfy his needs. how do i go about handling the situation?

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Our expert says:
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Some people do indeed have an amicable / friendly divorce. Sounds like your boy may still hope that you and his father will get together again ( kids often do ) and the fact that you are still friendly, may make this seem more likely to him --- so he is more sensitive to the idea of any new man becoming a friend, which would make it less likely that his dad might move back in. DOn't you have to just talk this over with him, calmly and gently, explaning that his father is still a good friend of yours, but that you two are not going to get back together again, whether or not you have other man friends, and that you don't want to avoid having other friends, and you don't believe his father wants this either. Maybe have a friendly word with your ex, who could help to discuss this with the boy

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