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Question
Posted by: Anonymous | 2009/05/15

Concern or just plain gossip

I have a friend who constantly has " confidential"  chats with many of her friends about someone' s problem. She always says that it is " out of concern" . So much so that I know exactly who has a substance problem, who has genital herpes, who has marital problems etc etc etc.

What is the difference between discussing a friend s problems with others out of genuine concern and when is it just plain gossip?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Hmm, I know that type. "Out of concern" as a pretense that it's not gossip. Which concern is she supposed to be helping ? If one has genuine concern, one chats confidentially to the person affected, and not to anyone else. How does everyone in the office knowing that X has herpes help X ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Anonymous | 2009/05/18

O dear. Cancel that " friendship"  i m m e d i a t e l y. I' ve just come out of a situation like that, thought she was a great pal, until the ugly truth hit me in the face. Needless 2 say I am much happier with her (and her hubby, who' s the same) out of my life. Good riddance!

Reply to Anonymous
Posted by: Anonymous | 2009/05/18

And what if that skinnerbek tells you something in confidence? I would just say: I don' t want to hear about it. But I know it' s difficullt to do so.

Reply to Anonymous
Posted by: Sam | 2009/05/15

I' ve had a friend like this - " mr popular" . But I think he was only popular because he had all the inside knowledge about everyone else. That' s quite sad, don' t you think. I pity him in some way. (I don' t trust him at all, and more and more people who are the victims om his " skinder"  don' t trust him either,.( Not really the claim to fame I would' ve hoped for (heee hhee hee).

Reply to Sam
Posted by: Anonymous | 2009/05/15

Does she pretend to be the person' s friend while " confiding"  in someone about him/her? Good grief!

Reply to Anonymous
Posted by: Anonymous | 2009/05/15

...but then only a fool listens to gossip!

Reply to Anonymous
Posted by: Liza | 2009/05/15

Definitely not concern. I wouldn' t call it just plain gossip either - telling others that someone has genital herpes is VICIOUS gossip, not plain gossip. It' s at times like these that the truth of the question - Who needs enemies with friends like these - hits home.

Good grief. I would rather have NO friends than ' n friend like this.

Liza

Reply to Liza

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