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Question
Posted by: Jacky | 2010/05/11

COMPULSIVE LYING - HELP!

I am a 33 year old mother of 2 lovely boys. I have cheated on my husband with another man. My husband gave me another chance but I messed that up too and was thrown out. I cannot stop lying. It''s the easiest thing for me to lie. I even lied to the guy I had an affair with. I would make up the most fantastic stories and he would believe it all. And although my conscious bothered me time and time again I would still go ahead and lie... Please help me. This behavior has already destroyed my family and my husband. How do I stop?? I desperately need to break the bad habits in my life for the sake of my two boys and the people around me. I constantly feel guilty, I cannot sleep. I can''t forgive myself for this behavior. My father was a compulsive liar. I don''t want to end up like him. I want to lead an honest, open life.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Firstly, please avoid telling yourself that you "cannot" do things, as this creates self-fulfilling prophecies. You CAN stop lying - maybe you haven't chosen to do so yet, but it is entirely possible for you.
Some of your lies sound as though they arise from your thinking so little of your real self that you feel you need to embroider reality to make you seem more attractive ( or less awful ).
You seem to hav e wholesome ambitions, but need a method to achieve them. CBT ( Cognitive-behaviour Therapy ) is excellent for learning to stop bad behaviours and learn better ones.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

4
Our users say:
Posted by: Jacky | 2010/05/17

Thanks. I have already destroyed my marriage completely and I don''t suppose there''s turning back. I need to find my way again. I know now that I CAN stop lying and that the ability to do so rests within myself.

Reply to Jacky
Posted by: Maria | 2010/05/11

Speaking for experience... it is a conscious decision you need to make for yourself, you self need to say to yourself STOP it. If you do not want to stop it no one in the world can help you with it.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: Been There | 2010/05/11

I also had an affair ... once sometimes is enuf to be kicked out... I now lost friends, family, etc.
Get counselling to deal with ur issues... mine I found was insecurity... I wanted everyman to luv me also give it time. A year from now u will see things differently.
Gud Luck

Reply to Been There
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/05/11

Firstly, please avoid telling yourself that you "cannot" do things, as this creates self-fulfilling prophecies. You CAN stop lying - maybe you haven't chosen to do so yet, but it is entirely possible for you.
Some of your lies sound as though they arise from your thinking so little of your real self that you feel you need to embroider reality to make you seem more attractive ( or less awful ).
You seem to hav e wholesome ambitions, but need a method to achieve them. CBT ( Cognitive-behaviour Therapy ) is excellent for learning to stop bad behaviours and learn better ones.

Reply to cybershrink

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