Our expert says:
Wouldnt marriage counselling be a really good idea here ? To help you both understand better what has happened over this contradictory and confusing period in he relaionship ? There may be less in the other guy than you think --- you met him when you were very vulnerable and needy, and as you have not really been together, he has no had a good chance to disappoint you. So he remains a comforting fantasy. The best way to forget about him would be via counselling, to heal your marriage, if this is possible, or otherwise to end it for carefully thought out reasons, and, then free from committments, to consider other relationships
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