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Question
Posted by: Ida | 2012/10/01

Company

It seems the ten nowaays is that almost every Dick &  Marry socialise on liquor. If you are a teetotaller you are consiered unsociable resulting in you not been seen as an option if your friends need company. I''m a 49 yr old female, (ivorcee) face with this challenge resulting in me not having ''real'' female friends. I''m the one who always try to reach-out without them reciprocating ( e.g I visit them, they dont in return) even though they seem to enjoy my company . I on''t think it''s a matter of choice of friends because I know some from way back.

What can I o because I sometimes feel so longly. ( I do some charity work) but this seem to worry me.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

This is true, and a genuine long-standing problem. These silly social customs encourage the development of alcoholism, and also make it even harder for the problem drinker to stop, as their old "friends" push them to drink again. Too many folks see drinking heavily as the primary way to socialize, not realizing that after enough to drink, what's produced is a simulation of socializing, when the drinks don't notice how empty their relationships are.
Often one finds more compatible friends through other shared activities, like the charity work you mention, and similar constructive activities.

People who only like you when you drink ( and they're probably bothered about feeling a touch guilty when they're drinking and you're not ) are not really friends.

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Tanya | 2012/10/02

Ida, this is one of my favourite subjects and have often turned the problem of not drinking alcohol into a very amusing game!

I do enjoy a drink most times but went through a stage (mainly menopause) when I couldnt partake because of hot flushes, private summers, as I referred to them. I took great pleasure in filling my wine glass with a soft drink that looked like wine and pretended to be as drunk as everyone around me! Nobody really noticed because THEYwere so busy getting slammed. I noticed how stupid people actually behave after 2/3 drinks and found it hilarious watching them, and of course, I could behave and say anything I wanted because as far as they were concerned I was drunk too!

The best part was the next morning waking up feeling 100% after a wonderful evening.

Take heart, Ida, at the end of the day you are better off not drinking.

Reply to Tanya
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/10/02

This is true, and a genuine long-standing problem. These silly social customs encourage the development of alcoholism, and also make it even harder for the problem drinker to stop, as their old "friends" push them to drink again. Too many folks see drinking heavily as the primary way to socialize, not realizing that after enough to drink, what's produced is a simulation of socializing, when the drinks don't notice how empty their relationships are.
Often one finds more compatible friends through other shared activities, like the charity work you mention, and similar constructive activities.

People who only like you when you drink ( and they're probably bothered about feeling a touch guilty when they're drinking and you're not ) are not really friends.

Reply to cybershrink

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