Our expert says:
It is never fair or anything but cruel ( and often just profoundly cowardly ) for anyone to make such an announcement to their partner or spouse and then refuse to discuss it.
Faced with such really bad behaviour, you could write a letter to her.
We may all want more attention than we get ( and some of us are so insatiable as regards attention that nobody can supply as much as we want ), but that is no excuse for cruelty or for abandoning a relationship. Had she tried to remedy the situation she complains of, by discussing it with you, and by suggesting marriage counselling if this bore no results ?
I'm sorry to hear that counselling was attempted and was useless in your view - maybe an unskilled coun sellor, or maybe your wife was so reluctant to allow it to work that this sabotaged the process ?
qwerty summarizes a reasonable approach that would be useful. The point about specificity is crucial - its important for you to be specific in your proposed solutions - just as it is important for her to be far more specific in her complaint.
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