Posted by: Lims | 2009-05-12


My spouse has a child outside our relationship. I found out about this child through text messages between him and the mother of the child he claims that he did not tell me about the child because he was still waiting for paternity test. so now he has the results and it is his child. Everything i know about this child is through me landing on the information unintentionally. When i ask him why he never informs me about his child and the communications he has with the mother. He tells me that he did not think i need to know about it. if roles were changed he would not be interested. My argument is that at some point this child will grow up might want to come to visit his father. what am I suppose to do then be interested in the child then, when all along i was cut off the child' s life.

am i wrong about wanting to be informed about his child.

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Our expert says:
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Obviously he should have told you about this child, and waiting for a paternity test was no excuse for not telling you, as regardless of outcome it was still relevant to you both. He can't be so naive as to think that it's really none of your business and of no interest to you. And he really suggests that he doesn't care if you have a dozen other kids by different men and haven't told him about this ? Doesn't sound likely, does it ?
Of course you're not wrong in wanting to be informed about this. The child might at any time want more contact with him. He is presumably paying maintenance for the child's care, and that impacts on your family inances. And he has to be in regular contact with the mother, even if its only about the child, and that's hardly irrelevant to you.

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