Our expert says:
Actually, its not usually useful to over-generalise about MEN or WOMEN, as we all differ individually. Overall, many people, male and female, have some difficulty in committing to a long-term relationship - maybe this is a bit more common in men, buy many men complain that the woman in their life won't commit.
What you describe isn't purely about committment. When one person is entirely content with the relationship as it is, they would be understandably reluctant to change it.
I'm not clear at all about what you mean about how "kids were involved", but now that's "basically sorted out".
OK, if he had a gruesome divorce, he will likely be reluctant to take any chances again, and the present arangement may feel safe and satisfying for him. Control may be understandably a major issue for him, and he may feel you want him to move into a situation of less control for him.
Why not see a couples counsellor together to work out whether a satisfactory solution can or cannot be found ?
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