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Question
Posted by: Bee | 2009/10/28

Commitment issues

Hi there everyone,

I suspect that I have commitment issues / phobia. I get bored very easily in a relationship and I very often cheat on my partner  not going the full monty, but I enjoy attention from the opposite sex. I feel very guilty about this.

Do you have any advise for me, please?
I am 31 and my bological clock is ticking away (I am female), but I just can' t seem to settle down. Please help.

Thank you kindly.
Bee

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Hi Bee,
Sounds like you're currently more focussed on enjoying the attention and flirting than on settling down and looking for something deeper and lasting in a relationship. OF course marriage and settling down isn't compulsory, but if one wants to have a child, then it's wise for the child's sake not to postpone it much longer. Yet of course you don't want to rush into a trivial marriage just for the sake of it, either.
Seeing a personal counsellor could help to sort out your priorities, work out what has been hindering your interests in settling down, and plan more wisely for the future
Sometimes, as molly sue sugests, it can be that we have not lived with good examples of stable and satisfying relationships while growing up. But the inhibition isn't unsurmountale

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: molly sue | 2009/10/28


i ' suffer'  the same- thing is- i grew up with no structure... (dad got married and divorced 6 times), always a new partner- always on the move... guess deep down inme- this unnatural behaviour lays and waits....
this is such a pity...i try and control it to the best i can.

Reply to molly sue
Posted by: cybershrink | 2009/10/28

Hi Bee,
Sounds like you're currently more focussed on enjoying the attention and flirting than on settling down and looking for something deeper and lasting in a relationship. OF course marriage and settling down isn't compulsory, but if one wants to have a child, then it's wise for the child's sake not to postpone it much longer. Yet of course you don't want to rush into a trivial marriage just for the sake of it, either.
Seeing a personal counsellor could help to sort out your priorities, work out what has been hindering your interests in settling down, and plan more wisely for the future
Sometimes, as molly sue sugests, it can be that we have not lived with good examples of stable and satisfying relationships while growing up. But the inhibition isn't unsurmountale

Reply to cybershrink

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