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Question
Posted by: Paloma | 2010-03-06

Coming home

Good day! We have, for obvious reasons, decided to exchange the riches and beauty of SA for the windy, financial gloomy landscape of NZ. Yes we are nowhere near the comfort of the ''good life'' we we were used to, but at least we''re relatively safe and our daughter have a better shot at a brighter future. Ok so thing is, I''m very much used to being able to move around and feeling safe where-ever I go here. I read the newspapers (Beeld, 24.com, Rapport and Burger) and feel quite distressed when thinking I have to come back for 5 weeks to visit the family and friends. I am petrified. Here we have the constant fear of earthquakes (we had 3 remarkable ones so far) but frankly, I''ll deal with it. I know CBT well and often use it in my life but I just cannot shake the fear of what if. I have nightmares! The violence . . . the roads . . . I just don''t feel like walking into this death trap! I WILL come . . . I HAVE TO, but shit, I''m scared!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

OK, frankly SA does indeed fall short on the provision of earthquakes, but I'm sure someone is working on it.
Now, lets think about this calmly. The "deathtrap" you fear is one where apparently you lived for many years and survived it apparently unscathed - except for this degree of fear. You already know how to behave sensibly and avoid significant risks. And you're coming the year of the Soccer World Cup, when the authorities will presumably be trying their best to keep things safe.

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4
Our users say:
Posted by: Obvious | 2010-03-07

I hope ur fears dnt come true,i really do not!!i''d rather have u die in NZ THAN IN S A.EARTHQUAKE VS HI-JACKING .

Reply to Obvious
Posted by: Maria | 2010-03-06

Well your family and friends are still here, aren''t they? And not locked into their bulletproof houses 24/7? But to be honest my first thought was stay where you are then, Africa isn''t for sissies.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: Woman | 2010-03-06

Yes, we have a huge crime problem in SA. There is no denying it, but it hasn''t really gotten worse, it stays the same. Remember you''re coming to Africa, remember that you always have to keep a vigilant eye out, hold on to your valuables (so leave the gold &  diamonds at home), invest in a pepper spray security device. Be aware, and don''t look scared - criminals can smell fear.

BUT... we also have some of the most dramatic and awe inspiring beauty in the universe! We have friendly and helpful people, we have a whole smorgesbord of culture and colour. So enjoy visiting your birthplace and spare a thought for the ancestors who were so in love with the thought of South Africa - it''s bounty, it''s beauty, that they gave their blood for it. Black and white. Remember the passion and enjoy leaving your footprints in the African sun.

Reply to Woman
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010-03-06

OK, frankly SA does indeed fall short on the provision of earthquakes, but I'm sure someone is working on it.
Now, lets think about this calmly. The "deathtrap" you fear is one where apparently you lived for many years and survived it apparently unscathed - except for this degree of fear. You already know how to behave sensibly and avoid significant risks. And you're coming the year of the Soccer World Cup, when the authorities will presumably be trying their best to keep things safe.

Reply to cybershrink

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