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Question
Posted by: Control Freak | 2011/05/15

Collleague taking over my project

Hi, I have written before about my colleage that wants to take over my project. Things are getting too much for me now. He was contacting sites behind my back, even though he is the back up. I gave him 3 sites with the idea that he would stay out of my business. It went fine for a while. But he has this holier than though attitude. He can sound oh so professional when we do telecons with our overseas offices or clients. And he always has something to say. He is personal friends with our manager, which makes this very difficult. We each have to complete a Project review form for our projects, and he has been delegated the task to give feedback about my project to the headoffice (apparently because it confuses them if too many people phone in). He has been doing this for 3 months. And I just let it slide. Because I did not know what was being said. Last week I was invited to the meeting by my manager, she wanted to supervise. Guess she thought he was not doing such a great job. We had a chat before the meeting started and when she opened up my spreadsheet he immediately started questioning me why did I enter so many hours this month and why this and why that? It''s not his place I think? My manager had to explain the reasoning to him. But, it is not his project, so why ask. He sticks his nose into business where it does not belong. When the meeting started and we discussed my study, I sat there in silence, my manager did the talking. I did not want to interrupt, because I was not briefed on what I am allowed to say and what not not to say. Then the organiser said to my colleage YOU must do this and YOU must to that. All while I am sitting there. It is not his project. I walked out of the meeting. I was called in afterwards and my manager is so oblivious to the fact that my colleague is stepping on my toes, that she thought the organiser upset me. She or the colleageue could have said listen, the person who is dealing with the project is sitting right here, discuss it with her, But they did not. I feel he is upstaging me every chance he gets. Now I have given him 3 out of 12 sites, and he has not offered to help once. I worked through the whole easter weekend and all the public holidays to get the work done. Friday he''s copied in a mail about something, now he wants to know if he should contact his sites? Why now suddenly? Should I ask for my sites back? Because my friend says he is going to upstage me and look better than me with his 3 sites (even though I gave him the crappy ones). Or should I look into myself and not be so insecure. How do I handle him? He nitpicks about the smallest details. But, then he makes the biggest mistakes. He can make me look very bad. I want him out of my life, I just don''t know how? I have to meet with my manager about the hours tomorrow. And then I want to have a discusstion with her about his role in the study. Am I just offended about the way he speaks to me? Or am I just oversensitive. I just feel I have to work so much harder with him on the project. His CV looks more impressive than mine, even though he has 8 months less experience in this position than me, because he has added a few details that are not true. It looks like he has 4 years experience. The clients look at him and think, wow, how wonderful, but the people in the office can see he has less experience than me. And he earns double my salary. Somehow, being promoted before me, makes him think that he is superior to me. But I have nothing but disrespect for him. He committed fraud on an important document last week and did not even blink an eye. I can go on forever, but what can I do. I need to get rid of my insecurities. Or get rid of him. Which one and how do I do it?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sounds like he continues to exploit his unprofessional ( on both sides ) personal relationship with your manager. Is there nobody else who could provide backup for you ( if that is really needed ) ? Couldn't he be given a couple of projects of his own, and let you have someone else to provide genuine rather than fake backup, someone less likely to want to take over or sacrifice your reputation for his ?
Having him report to head office on YOUR projects is bizarre, and surely a significant and obvious conflict of interests ? And for this to happen without you even knowing what he is saying is extremely bad office and business practice.
Nothing you describe suggests that your manager is professional or even a competent manager.
Make sure you document carefully all of his mistakes, and don't allow them to be mistaken for yours. And document the peculiar way this is being managed by your manager. Factually, rather than obviously critically.
If he is putting untrue statements in his CV< isn't that a serious offence which your manager should check up on ? Could you ask some discrete questions about how puzzling you find these aspects of his CV which don't seem to match what you know to be true ?
And how can you have an assistant who earns much more than you do ?
I don['t think you should blame yourself for "insecurities" as though this was all about somethin wrong with you - there is something wrong with him, and your manager, and the organization itself for tolerating and allowing this.
I do hope you are continuely looking for a different job, so you can in time walk out on them and let them mess up as they apparently really deserve to do.




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1
Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/05/15

Sounds like he continues to exploit his unprofessional ( on both sides ) personal relationship with your manager. Is there nobody else who could provide backup for you ( if that is really needed ) ? Couldn't he be given a couple of projects of his own, and let you have someone else to provide genuine rather than fake backup, someone less likely to want to take over or sacrifice your reputation for his ?
Having him report to head office on YOUR projects is bizarre, and surely a significant and obvious conflict of interests ? And for this to happen without you even knowing what he is saying is extremely bad office and business practice.
Nothing you describe suggests that your manager is professional or even a competent manager.
Make sure you document carefully all of his mistakes, and don't allow them to be mistaken for yours. And document the peculiar way this is being managed by your manager. Factually, rather than obviously critically.
If he is putting untrue statements in his CV< isn't that a serious offence which your manager should check up on ? Could you ask some discrete questions about how puzzling you find these aspects of his CV which don't seem to match what you know to be true ?
And how can you have an assistant who earns much more than you do ?
I don['t think you should blame yourself for "insecurities" as though this was all about somethin wrong with you - there is something wrong with him, and your manager, and the organization itself for tolerating and allowing this.
I do hope you are continuely looking for a different job, so you can in time walk out on them and let them mess up as they apparently really deserve to do.




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