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Question
Posted by: WORK RELATED | 2012/03/12

COLLEAGUE

hI

i Constantly find myself talking to some colleague about my personal problems and trusted her but think that she is backstabbing me and telling other colleagues about my personal problems as they are all the same race. I know this because she gossips with me about them and turn around and say to them i said it. they believe her ofcause because in their behaviour towards me is very sarcastic. what do i do if i dont talk to her she will try everything in her power to make me feel horrible

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

WHY do you allow yourself to be "constantly talking ... about my personal problems " ? Do you work in a psych clinic where all of your colleagues are fully qualified shrinks able to be amazingly helpful in solving the problems ? DO you know that even in a psych clinic, the norm is to NEVER do that, and, if one needs or wants counselling or advice, to discuss it with a shrink from somewhere else ? It is NEVER a good idea to share personal problems with work colleagues.
THis is not merely a cultural thing, but ionevitable withion a working environment.
And of course, when you already know she's a gossi[ because of what she says about others, how could you imagine she wouldn't do the same about you ?
SO do chat to her, about what you saw on TV, or in the news, just not about your intimate and personal problems.

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Liza | 2012/03/12

Discussing your personal problems at work will almost always result in problems at work! You can still talk to her without telling her all the personal stuff. All you need to do is be polite and friendly but without divulging things that should remain private. You misplaced your trust and now it''s biting you in the behind. Learn from this - Even those who seem sincere can be untrustworthy.

And the next time you feel you can''t keep your problems to yourself - do yourself a favor and go see a psychologist!

Good Luck
Liza

Reply to Liza
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/03/12

WHY do you allow yourself to be "constantly talking ... about my personal problems " ? Do you work in a psych clinic where all of your colleagues are fully qualified shrinks able to be amazingly helpful in solving the problems ? DO you know that even in a psych clinic, the norm is to NEVER do that, and, if one needs or wants counselling or advice, to discuss it with a shrink from somewhere else ? It is NEVER a good idea to share personal problems with work colleagues.
THis is not merely a cultural thing, but ionevitable withion a working environment.
And of course, when you already know she's a gossi[ because of what she says about others, how could you imagine she wouldn't do the same about you ?
SO do chat to her, about what you saw on TV, or in the news, just not about your intimate and personal problems.

Reply to cybershrink

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