Posted by: Big ga ho nus | 2009-01-26

Cold as Ice!!


Iâ € ™ m 28, I have a child of 8months and currently happily married to the same guy for 11 years, been dating from school and I love him dearly.

My Q is: I find out a while ago that Iâ € ™ v PCOS, and was a miracle when we conceived out little girl! My Dr told me that that is my problem, that was my reason why I am so cold towards my husband, I love sex, but recently have no urge of doing it!!!!

A few years ago my husband kissed my sister in law, I call it cheating, but it didnâ € ™ t get so far, but for me personally it was the worst thing ever! He cheated and I wanted out, out of the marriage, out of everything!!! Since then my husband made up for his biggest mistake, heâ € ™ s genuinely wonderful husband and father. But Iâ € ™ m so cold, donâ € ™ t want sex, Iâ € ™ m tired all the time. Iâ € ™ ve lost a lot of weight, and I do look good, my husband cant take his hands of me, but Iâ € ™ m stone cold.

Is there anything I can do to prevent a divorce, because I think if I donâ € ™ t do anything soon heâ € ™ s really going to cheat on me for real!!!


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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Whilst PCOS may be associated with a lowered libido, there are also other causes, and if your PCOS has been treated, then it may be that other important factors play a role. In your instance the main issues I would look to are as follows:
1. The normal/common decline in a woman's libido in a committed relationship longer than 4 years
2. Having an 8 month old baby and the associated tiredness if sleep deprived, stress if you're finding it difficult (most new mothers do), normal/common prioritisation of all energy for the baby, hormones if you're breast feeding, and any other associated psychological changes such as the weight of the responsibility, and for some mothers a feeling that you're the only parent taking this responsibility seriously. All of these can impact on libido whilst you adjust from a couple to a family...
3. The memory of the kiss can leave a mark on one's sense of adequacy/trust which may play itself out sexually
I would recommend that you find some professional help to try to identify what the most likely factors are in your case...try mailing SASHA via our website ( to identify a health professional with a special interest in sexual health local to your area.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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