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Question
Posted by: Peggy | 2010/09/03

cold

I want to know if i am a cold person or what is wrong with me. I can still remember when my mother died about 30 odd years ago i did not cry. When my youngest brother died about 6 years ago i did not cry. My other brother died 3 weeks ago and i felt nothing but when one of my dogs die is cry for weeks on end. What is wrong with me??? The only person i felt sad after she died was my mother in law.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Normal people react to loss and grief in many different and normal ways. Some reat, as you describe, with the safety-catch on, with minimal emotion, and much emotional control. And yet they may let go of their grief after a less intensely personal and complex loss, such as that of a pet.
Where this can occasionally become a problem is if that freezing of emotions becomes a habit, and starts to be applied to other situations in which one's emotions are necessary and useful. In such a case, working for a whil with a pschotherapist / counsellor, could be useful

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

3
Our users say:
Posted by: Unbelievable | 2010/09/06

Iyo how sick is that!!

Reply to Unbelievable
Posted by: suggestion | 2010/09/04

You could have " coped"  by not crying and putting on a brave face or felt you had no feelings but what you subconsciously did was switch off, zoned out and numbed your pain. However when your dog died you cried, so perhaps the pent up emotions you thought you never had with your other family deaths were let out at the time of your dog''s death and your mother in law''s death.

Reply to suggestion
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/09/04

Normal people react to loss and grief in many different and normal ways. Some reat, as you describe, with the safety-catch on, with minimal emotion, and much emotional control. And yet they may let go of their grief after a less intensely personal and complex loss, such as that of a pet.
Where this can occasionally become a problem is if that freezing of emotions becomes a habit, and starts to be applied to other situations in which one's emotions are necessary and useful. In such a case, working for a whil with a pschotherapist / counsellor, could be useful

Reply to cybershrink

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