advertisement
Question
Posted by: 40''ish | 2012/09/18

Co-worker''s wife had a baby - HUH?

I am a bit hurt and shocked. My assistant of 6 years''s wife had a baby on Thursday and he never even told me or anyone that they where pregnant (1st baby).

I found out because his sister in law use to work for me and she sent me the pic of the baby when i did not know who it was or what was going on she said and then said please do not say a word as he then does not want his employers to know?

He just came to work on Friday etc as if it was a normal day. Why would he hide this? We would have bought gifts and sent his wife flowers and he''d have had 4 days paternaty leave.

It makes no sense to me whatsoever.

ps. i know in some cultures they don''t have a baby shower as it''s bad luck but this is just so strange.

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

So much depends on individuals and the general relationships and atmosphere in the office. I"m not sure why he would think of hiding the fact that his wife was pregnant or had a baby, from his employers - was there any reason for him to expect they might do something unpleasant about it ? I can't imagine what ~!
Some people are just very private and don't share anything about their private life with work colleagues. I would NOT call his wife behind his back, but simply say calmly to him that you hacve heard indirectly that he and his wife have had a child, and you want to congratulate them both. Maybe suggest that some days of paternity leave would be in order if he wants to take them.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

7
Our users say:
Posted by: Anon | 2012/09/21

Hi 40ish

Well, personally if I had to fall pregnant, I would not let anyone know. In some cultures, there''s something known as " bad eyes" , and they would wait 41days after the baby is born to introduce the baby. I know of a women who, whenever she fell pregnant, and told families and friends, she miscarried. Than, when she fell pregnant again she told no one. Onlu her husband knew. And they gave birth to healthy twins. :)

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Rea | 2012/09/19

True, only share when happy in work envir.
An increase would do him good, maybe he would then also share some pics with everyone in the office.

Seriously though, some people are just very private people.
I''m sure he celebrated with his family though and made a big fuss about it at home. Maybe he did not want all the attention a baby shower brings and therefore kept it to himself.

Reply to Rea
Posted by: Rosco | 2012/09/19

I''m with Mike, dude not happy increase! increase! we only share when we happy and confortable.

Reply to Rosco
Posted by: mike | 2012/09/19

increase his salary

Reply to mike
Posted by: Maria | 2012/09/18

I agree with Surprised, if he is a very private person who rarely talks about his personal life then this behaviour might not be out of character for him. (If I was his wife I would be upset about him not using his paternity leave though!)

I would not call his wife. Personally I would be very upset if a coworker called my husband behind my back.

Why don''t you get over your hurt and shock, and just casually tell him that you heard on the grapevine he has become a dad, and congratulations. Maybe that will create the opportunity the poor guy needs to talk about it.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: Surprised | 2012/09/18

What kind of a person is he? Is he a private person, how does he interact with other co-workers?
Clearly you wouldn''t be surprised if he was an introvert naturally so it leaves to assume something is cooking.

Can you not call the wife and get her side of the story so that you may deal with a lot of other issues that may come out?

Reply to Surprised
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/09/18

So much depends on individuals and the general relationships and atmosphere in the office. I"m not sure why he would think of hiding the fact that his wife was pregnant or had a baby, from his employers - was there any reason for him to expect they might do something unpleasant about it ? I can't imagine what ~!
Some people are just very private and don't share anything about their private life with work colleagues. I would NOT call his wife behind his back, but simply say calmly to him that you hacve heard indirectly that he and his wife have had a child, and you want to congratulate them both. Maybe suggest that some days of paternity leave would be in order if he wants to take them.

Reply to cybershrink

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement