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Question
Posted by: Annoyed | 2011/08/02

Co dependancy and How it affects others

My sister has been diagnosed with Co-dependency and depression  she has been messed up her entire life well at least 17 years of it. My parents divorced and as kids she used to hit and punch me and try to control me or else.. She is now 30 and single with a kid and she still is very messed up. I feel that she has been incorrectly diagnosed as she is always emotional over the smallest stuff. She acts like she is 13 years old if not younger and its VERY hard to live with someone like this. How do you live with someone who has been diagnosed with the above, my mental health is at stake here and I just cannot seem to understand how to deal with her. I dont have issues but my sister is now latching onto my friends which is my escape from the home situation and its really annoying me too.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Depression is a disease, a disorder diagnosed according to specific internationally recognized and agreed criteria. Co-Dependency is a descriptiopn of an unhelpful way to behave. What you describe doesn't sound much like it, more, perhaps, spoiled and self-centred and impulsive.
You don't mention your age - do you really HAVE to live with her ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Karli | 2011/08/05

I do understand that you are running out of patience, but you are just the receiver of her problems- imagine the kinds of things that she''s going through as well. :)

Reply to Karli
Posted by: Annoyed | 2011/08/02

For now yes as finances dont allow me another alternative at this stage - sadly! She has only been living back with us since her break up to get back on her feet. I understand that depression is a disease but the medication she is taking doesnt seem to be helping much hence my suggestion of misdiagnosis, I have never been depressed so I cant relate, what is the internationally recognized and agreed criteria for depression? Could you reccomend another Phycologist or Phsyciatrist in the Cape Town area preferably someone elite who we can send her to to get a second opinion as I feel that there is more to her problem. She started talking about our childhood and how unhappy hers was, she said that my mother left us alone as kids and she had to look after my brother and myself, my brother nor i remember this and we are fine with no issues other than having her near us. She started making stuff up about her past and is constantly blaming everyone else for her life being so crap? I dont get it and i am running out of patience. Your assistance would be appreciated. Thanks

Reply to Annoyed
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/08/02

Depression is a disease, a disorder diagnosed according to specific internationally recognized and agreed criteria. Co-Dependency is a descriptiopn of an unhelpful way to behave. What you describe doesn't sound much like it, more, perhaps, spoiled and self-centred and impulsive.
You don't mention your age - do you really HAVE to live with her ?

Reply to cybershrink

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