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Question
Posted by: Kay | 2010/10/18

Co dependancy??

HI Doc. Just want to know. How would I know if I''m a codependant? Is it a reall problem, or just all in the head type of thing. Were does one start to get help for something like that. My Father is an alcoholic (man, just saying that is hard for me), and I think I need help as much as he does.??

Any advice will be appreciated

Kind Regards
K.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I'm not really sure what you mean by "all in the head". While co-dependency isn't a formal diagnosis within most major systems, it is a well recognized problem, referring to the way in which some people with a relative or loved one with alcohol or drug abuse problems, behave in distinctly unhelpful ways, which, though usually intended to be helpful, actually make it easier for the person to continue with their substance abuse, and can make treatment very difficult.
Any good psychologist, or any counsellor experienced in working with substance abuse problems, should be able to help you to understand your own role in these problems, and to change your responses to more helpful ones.
If you call AA, they also usually run groups for the families of alcoholics, which could also be useful for you.
To me, when people describe any significant problem as "all in the head" its like saying that appendicitis is "all in the appendix" - where on earth else ought it to be ?

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: Other option | 2010/10/18

There are also AA codependency groups you can attend. This will also give you a broader view of alcolism and how it effects the family. In a disfunctional family where alcohol is the culprit one will see many types of coping mechanisms as you are descrybing but you have to deal with it as he needs to deal with his alcolism at AA.

Good luck

Reply to Other option
Posted by: Liza | 2010/10/18

You would need to go for CBT-style counseling to find out whether you are co-dependent. Call Famsa, Lifeline or the Depression and Anxiety group helpline to find a counselor close to where you live.

And just because " It''s all in the head"  doesn''t mean that it isn''t a real problem! It''s not like depression that can be improved through medication BUT it is a real behavioural problem that can be improved with CBT-style counseling.

Good Luck
Liza

Reply to Liza
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/10/18

I'm not really sure what you mean by "all in the head". While co-dependency isn't a formal diagnosis within most major systems, it is a well recognized problem, referring to the way in which some people with a relative or loved one with alcohol or drug abuse problems, behave in distinctly unhelpful ways, which, though usually intended to be helpful, actually make it easier for the person to continue with their substance abuse, and can make treatment very difficult.
Any good psychologist, or any counsellor experienced in working with substance abuse problems, should be able to help you to understand your own role in these problems, and to change your responses to more helpful ones.
If you call AA, they also usually run groups for the families of alcoholics, which could also be useful for you.
To me, when people describe any significant problem as "all in the head" its like saying that appendicitis is "all in the appendix" - where on earth else ought it to be ?

Reply to cybershrink

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