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Question
Posted by: MPHO | 2011/03/16

Chronic anger

I need an advice.Ive been married for 6 years,husband 32yrs myself 30yrs.I cant conceive due to the fact that I have endrometriosis and last year found out that he has a baby with a 19 year old woman,who has another child.I havent been happy ever since,I fight with him all the time even when he does nothing wrong,he is trying hard to keep the marriage together but I feel like I need to be alone because I cant have children with him.We spend so much time together but even when he is here,i feel like he should leave.He is supporting the children with that woman behind my back,but he is always home with me and i do not know how he does that.and i cant take it.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

That must have been a terrible shock and insult for you. That he was unfaithful to you is bad enough, but actually fathering a child with someone else when he knew it would be especially hurtful to you ... that's awful.
Having children is important to many of us, but it isn't the only important aspect of marriage, and can't be allowed to take precedence over loving care for each other.
If he is genuinely concerned to try and keep the marriage together, then he should join you in marriage counselign to work on all these issues.
Presumably he is supporting only the one child which is his, from this other woman ? That's a sore point for you, but maybe we'd think much less of him if he didn't. But other than in respect to the child's needs, he need have no more contact with the woman.
It should be possible to heal this sad mess, for the benefit of you both

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/03/16

That must have been a terrible shock and insult for you. That he was unfaithful to you is bad enough, but actually fathering a child with someone else when he knew it would be especially hurtful to you ... that's awful.
Having children is important to many of us, but it isn't the only important aspect of marriage, and can't be allowed to take precedence over loving care for each other.
If he is genuinely concerned to try and keep the marriage together, then he should join you in marriage counselign to work on all these issues.
Presumably he is supporting only the one child which is his, from this other woman ? That's a sore point for you, but maybe we'd think much less of him if he didn't. But other than in respect to the child's needs, he need have no more contact with the woman.
It should be possible to heal this sad mess, for the benefit of you both

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