Our expert says:
Christmas is so often much more stress. It sounds as though the way his relatives treated you was awful. But if your husband loves you so much, I'd expect him to have defended you fiercely and to have made it very clear to these relatives that such behaviour will not be tolerated.
I understand why you would not want to do to a family gathering that would include these unpleasant people --- yet presumably it is something that would please his gran. You're not stupid in wanting to avoid getting hurt further. Your husband has a point in not wanting them to feel they have won in successfully driving you away from family gatherings. And it could give them a great opportunity to turn other relatives against you by telling their stories without you being there to defend yourself. Could he explain to his gran what has happened, and enlist other relatives in ensuring that you are treated with respect and a reflection of his love for you ? There's no need to pretend that nothing has happened. You can make it clear that neither of you wish to talk to those relatives, but be friendly to others.
What do other readers think ?
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