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Question
Posted by: MyGirl | 2011/12/20

CHRISMAS WITH DAD

I am a single mom to a 13 year old. I am not on leave the schools are closed and I have no one to look after my 13 year old so I took her to my mom out of the province on Sunday i will be joiningher this friday. Her dad just called now apparently he wants to spend chrismas with my daughter and I said he should go to my mom and fetch her for saying that I am evil i do not want to involve him in the baby''s life. Just because he wants to baby i should drop off everything and drive 3 hours for him. Was I wrong to say go fetch the child yourself and now he tells my sister that whenever I want money i talk to him nicely

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

You were absolutely right and he is being unreasonable. If he really cared about the child, he would have discussed Christmas arrangements with you long before now. It dosn't sound as though you are denying him a role in the child's life, but it isn;t good for a kid when the father only occasionally wants to see her, only when he feels like it, rather than being a consistent and helpful part of her life.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Bron | 2011/12/21

Maybe, before entrusting the kid wiht him for Christmas, you should make arrangements during the year for her to spend short periods of time with him so you can monitor the situation and see if she is happy being there with him. i.e. I know of a guy who takes his children for holidays, but leaves them at home whilst he goes out all the time. The kids are then very unhappy and feel like he doesnt love them and only takes them to put up a front of a " caring father" 

Reply to Bron
Posted by: MyGirl | 2011/12/20

He never bothered to invite the child even if its just for a day NOTHING and as a mother you try to make him part of the child''s life but no when it suits him its okay. I wouldnt mind to go fetch the child for him but he might change his mind tomorrow like he did before and who gets dissapointed MY baby and who pick up the peaces I DO.

Reply to MyGirl
Posted by: hilly | 2011/12/20

he can go to hell, he can drive also to your to go and fetch her, dont feel guilty my darling enjoy christmas, dont worry about s called daddy when he felt it suits him

Reply to hilly
Posted by: MandD | 2011/12/20

Reponsible adults would have sorted this out weeks ago.especially as you had child care problems due to work!
You are both to blame -learn 2 communicate this child is BOTH yr resposibility!

Reply to MandD
Posted by: MyGirl | 2011/12/20

Phil

Reply to MyGirl
Posted by: Phil | 2011/12/20

Your choice of words  " my daughter" . It is his daughter to  maybe you could have checked with the father first?

Reply to Phil
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/12/20

You were absolutely right and he is being unreasonable. If he really cared about the child, he would have discussed Christmas arrangements with you long before now. It dosn't sound as though you are denying him a role in the child's life, but it isn;t good for a kid when the father only occasionally wants to see her, only when he feels like it, rather than being a consistent and helpful part of her life.

Reply to cybershrink

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