Home > Experts > Question Question Posted by: Zee | 2013/02/08 Choosing between the truth and friendship- eish... I met my partner through friend/ colleague. They were best friends and formed part of circle of + 7guys (so the girls in their lives became part of the circle, including me). When I came into the picture, this guy was seeing a certain lady, and we''d go to events, holidays , double-date with them. We all knew they were sleeping together, seeing each other but they could never talk openly about their relationship or claim each other as boyfriend/ girlfriend. A year and half ago, the friend rocks-up with another chick, introduces her as his new girlfriend. He says nothing about the previous lady and when I ask the guys whats up, they say he says nothing. Anyway, most of us assume that it''s over with other lady and we let it go. Fastforward - months - to a year later:, we see the guy and old the lady and they claim to be friends. New chick is in the picture! When quetioned, they say they are friends. Fastforward- June 2012 - guy announces an engagement with he new chick! We wonder, what about the old girl.Fastforward - August 2012- Old chick is pregnant and new chick has been paid lobola''s and wedding arrangements are on the way. Now the drama begins and it gets really natsy: Guy denies even knowing the old-chick. Denies even being on holidays, socialising with her. He goes as fas as " she forced herself on him! He wants partnenity tests, etc. He lies so badly and we find-out that he put pressure on old chick to have an abortion. It gets very nasty, it goes to church, the lawyers, families, and he lies to new chick. He (friend) doesn''t come tell us, the old girl reaches out to us for help. And we only find-out about it, including his best friend, three months later. Apparently, they never stopped seeing each other. The truth comes out and that some of the guys knew. We know the truth, if the new chick asks, should we lie? I mean, we don''t know what he told her and it''s not fair for us to play his dirty game! More importantly, we know they have been sleeping together with old girl since 2010, so how do I walk away as a woman and not support her? The old girl is not a stranger, she''s part of the circle and he''s calling her names, etc! He doesn''t want to pay damages, wants nothing to do with baby, etc.tc.Now, the circle is divided. People are not even allowed to talk to the new chick, they are called back-stabbers! People are supposed to choose between the truth or friendship. Friendships are ending, nasty words are exchanged, etc, etc. I think it''s so unneccessary- the drama- nd I''m so disappointed. What would you do if your friend, so you thought highly of, did something you never ever thought they''d do? Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question 3 Our users say: Posted by: Pretty Pear | 2013/02/11 Honestly and my own personal view, I would not comment if asked by iether of 3 parties...Unfortunately for " old girl" this involved 2 adults whom participated consensually...we dont know what old girl''s motives when they had unprotected sex what she was thinking? most proberbly aware about " new girl" in the picture...she may have been led on & lied to...we dont know...or told the truth then she carried on living a lie...Me feels guy is a bad person here but not entirely...men have denied pregnancy from fantuka, it''s not starting now due to the new girl''s existance...nor personal to the pregnant girl, he''s just being a jerk for selfish reasons...digging his own grave...the truth will come out eventually and that will be the " new girl" in that grave...I would just stay away, when asked i stay mute...i tell the person straight to their face that " i''d rather not comment" change the subject...In as much as i feel sorry for these girls who''s caught up in this mess, it''s their mess, it''s part of growing...no one is dead yetJust me! Reply to Pretty Pear Posted by: CJ | 2013/02/11 Zee, the bible says " and you shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free" no matter what. Dont follow your mind, but your heart because that is where all your principles and intergrity is. its hard to tell the truth sometimes and frightening buy you have for to loose than gain. Good luck! Reply to CJ Posted by: I | 2013/02/08 Your integrity and value systems as individuals is being put to the test here. All because of one man and his self-centredness, indecisiveness and greed. There were no consultations when he was playing the field, so now there should also be no two ways about it, let him stew in his mess. The truth and nothing but the truth it should be and nothing less. Reply to I Have your say Your name (optional) Your comment Security × Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly. Search health advice Find an answer × Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly. 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