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Question
Posted by: Thando | 2010-05-06

Children want to go to their mother

We got married in December and are staying with 2 stepdaughters, the mother is still alive, recently one of the daughters has just changed, I can see that he is now seeing her mother, the mother goes to her at school, she is doing so many funny things, and the last time she said she wants to go and stay with the mother, so I cannot stay with such a snake in the house, I want to take her out so that she can have freedom and stay with her, I once caught her beating my baby and when I asked her why is she doing that she looked badly at me.

The other problem I have is that the father is very sweet she always talks for his children whenever I see that there is something wrong they are doing. Last time when we came from work the DVD was broken I told him the children did not do that but someone broke it, and guess what on Saturday when their father was away they came with their friends and started playing with the DVD and I was so amazed because they dont do that when the father is not there it shows that they are dont have respect for me, I told the father, he said there is nothing wrong but why do this when he is not there.

Please assist I am becoming frustrated, how do I handle this.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

For anyone, child or adult, to beat a baby is totally unacceptable. It sounds as though the father, maybe feeling guilty over the failure of his previous relationship, seems to have no effective system of discipline for his children. He must realise that it is almost abusive for a father NOT to provide a system of discipline, rules and consequences for breaking them, for children - or before long they will discover, more painfully, that life and society in general will not allow them to behave selfishly or so as to hurt others or their property. Discuss this with him, and suggest you see a marriage counselor together so you can work as a couple in solving these problems, for the sake of all of you

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010-05-06

For anyone, child or adult, to beat a baby is totally unacceptable. It sounds as though the father, maybe feeling guilty over the failure of his previous relationship, seems to have no effective system of discipline for his children. He must realise that it is almost abusive for a father NOT to provide a system of discipline, rules and consequences for breaking them, for children - or before long they will discover, more painfully, that life and society in general will not allow them to behave selfishly or so as to hurt others or their property. Discuss this with him, and suggest you see a marriage counselor together so you can work as a couple in solving these problems, for the sake of all of you

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