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Question
Posted by: Lea Venter | 2011/09/16

Children 8 and 10 stealing and lying

Sister and brother 10 years and 8 years petty stealing and lying. Is this ADD, or would it be phsychological problem. Lovely grandchildren. Would hypnosis phychiatrist help to find reason?

LEA

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

These are troublesome behaviours, but have nothing whatever to do with ADD. ADD has become FAR too fashionable a diagnosis.
Kids at different times and stages in life can get naughty, and tend to persist if it is rewarding to them, and if there is no coherent system of rules and discipline for them.
Hypnosis could not possibly be considered a way of helping, and for problems like this would amount to malpractice.
Purple outlines the usual and effective way of dealing with such problems. A child psychologist could help to assess and understand the causes more rapidly, and could help plan an effective way of bringing the children back into good company and good behaviour

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/09/17

These are troublesome behaviours, but have nothing whatever to do with ADD. ADD has become FAR too fashionable a diagnosis.
Kids at different times and stages in life can get naughty, and tend to persist if it is rewarding to them, and if there is no coherent system of rules and discipline for them.
Hypnosis could not possibly be considered a way of helping, and for problems like this would amount to malpractice.
Purple outlines the usual and effective way of dealing with such problems. A child psychologist could help to assess and understand the causes more rapidly, and could help plan an effective way of bringing the children back into good company and good behaviour

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Purple | 2011/09/16

At this age they have a full understanding that stealing and lying are wrong. It''s not like a 4 year old who takes something because they think its nice or a 6 year old who lies because they do just make up fantastical stories at that age.

Firstly, a stop needs to be put to the behaviour. At this age, a serious talking to about what kind of people they want to be, how they will lose friends, the consequences such as them and their parents being prosecuted etc.
When they are caught lying and stealing priveleges such as play dates and TV time should be removed. Stolen items must be returned and apologies made to the victims. THey must feel the actual consequences of what they''ve done.

Secondly, you need to look for the reason why because getting to the root cause and solving that will also help to end the behaviour, so for example are they lying because they feel inadequate in some way? why is their self esteem that low? What can be done to improve self esteem? Why do they want to lie to make themselves feel more important than others? Do they know people can see through this and just stop believing everything they say? Are they stealing because they haven''t been given much in the way of moral guidance or family morals, or do the parents do things like taking stationery from work (which is stealing) so the kids think this is normal behaviour, are they in a situation where everyone else has more than them (for e.g. parents skrimping and saving and sending them to private schoold and then can''t keep up with the DS''s and J-boards and other toys the other children have) etc.



Reply to Purple
Posted by: ABC | 2011/09/16

Naughtyness???

Reply to ABC

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