Our expert says:
Extremely sneaky. It seems instinctual to take advantage of such situations. But a key factor is that one or both of the divorced parents feel guilty and decide to spoil him, to try to buy his love and support ; and they may decide to compete with the other parent by showing what a cool, rules-free parent they can be, not realizing that failing to give a child consistent, fair, predictable and routinely enforced rules is actively abusive. It is ESSENTIAL that BOTH parents agree to the same set of rules and keep to them, so the child does get a chance to exploit the situation, and they don't have to change rules each time they change homes.
With his father, you need to sit with him mand discuss such issues, including the necessity of simple rules on important things -, and that theyre not really optional - other people will expect him to behave properly, and will impose rules more unpleasantly than his father and you will do.
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