Our expert says:
Fortunately, there are less potential problems associated with an older father than with an older mother - sperm seem less vulnerable than ova, and there have been many distinguished me who father kids at an advanced age,
So its not the biological issues that are important here, but the psychological. And maybe it'd be useful for you to see a good local psychologist / counsellor to explore why you feel so scared of having children at what is a very good age for parenthood.
Sounds like for some reason you have postponed many other routine aspects of life satisfaction for some years, and are only getting into them now, when others would have done these earlier ( remember, this is not a criticism, just an observation ). A counselor could help you to examine your various priorities and make wise choices about them and the order in which to seek to achieve them.
Remember also that though he may remain effectively fertile for years to come, it's also relevant to him to be able to enjoy being a father while he is young enough to enjoy it, and to respect his wish not to force the kids to have a very old father.
I understand your viewpoint as to dreams - but have never before met a woman who says she i sacred to have children because she has just started to learn to play the guitar ! That can be a fine hobby to enjoy while parenting ; but do try to have realistic dreams ; you're not likely to become a Grammy winning guitar artist just yet, or to sacrifice such an outcome by having children.
YOu didn't have a good childhood, so maybe you fear being the sort of mother your own mom was ; instead, learning from your own less than ideal experience, you are likely to be much better as a parent.
The current situation sounds unfair to your husband and to yourself. Do indeed, see a psychologist to explore the many relevant and respectable issues your concerns raise.
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