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Question
Posted by: Mel | 2011/08/30

Childhood abuse effects in Adulthood

I experienced quite a rough childhood, my mother made my life hell and did and said things that i carry with me still, I have a younger sister who i physically protected even when i was very young. I withdrew alot and by the time i was in highschool was pretty much the weird outsider. I started drinking heavily at about 13/14 and doing very self destructive things, cutting, drugs. I try my hardest to swallow any pain and i dont give up my feelings very easily to other people. It feels like its my burden. Now my parents are split up and i am battling with memories, i try not to think about that time, but its becoming more and more difficult. i worry that i am going to lose controll. i have suffered deep deressions from about the age of 12 and tried to kill myself at 15, i often think about it though and have plans. i know i should just get over everything. its silly. i was diagnosed as bipolar a little while ago as well. Why can''t stop being so self destructive with my self. Dont i want to. I am trying not to drink and gamble and hurt myself in other ways although i can feel it becoming more difficult. I am afraid.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

YOu deserve to see a good shrink, probably initially a psychologist, so that the important psychological aspects of your situation get dealt with first, as a psychiarist, sadly, may concentrate too muh on seeking a chemical solution. Yes, a psychiatrist may help to devise chemical / drug ways to control bipolar disorder, if that is indeed properly diagnsed as part of your problems. Psychotherapy, including CBT, can be useful in dealing with isues of control, self-esteem, and learning to avoid self-damaging behaviours. You CAN gain control of the situaion, and of the behaviours that trouble you. Its unfortunate that your mother was apparently neglectful and abusive, but you don't have to carry a heavy legacy of her cruelty with you, and can learn to leave it behind you and to move on to a better way of life.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: been there | 2011/08/30

Don''t give up, ever! Keep going, its worth it, you ''will'' see this oneday, although it seems dark and useless now. You will see :)

Reply to been there
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/08/30

YOu deserve to see a good shrink, probably initially a psychologist, so that the important psychological aspects of your situation get dealt with first, as a psychiarist, sadly, may concentrate too muh on seeking a chemical solution. Yes, a psychiatrist may help to devise chemical / drug ways to control bipolar disorder, if that is indeed properly diagnsed as part of your problems. Psychotherapy, including CBT, can be useful in dealing with isues of control, self-esteem, and learning to avoid self-damaging behaviours. You CAN gain control of the situaion, and of the behaviours that trouble you. Its unfortunate that your mother was apparently neglectful and abusive, but you don't have to carry a heavy legacy of her cruelty with you, and can learn to leave it behind you and to move on to a better way of life.

Reply to cybershrink

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