Posted by: itu | 2009-04-15

child withdrawn

Hello, pls assist my son just started nursery school in Jan he turns 4 in July. He stayed home for the first 3 years with my aunt, we all live together. He cries every morning, refuses to go to creche, always says some kid has hit him but refuses to give me any names. Sometimes he' ll burst out crying and claim that he was given a hiding when i' ve been with him all along and know for a fact that nobody hit him. His teacher has also informed me that he doesn' t play with other children and that half the time he sits in a corner all by himself, when asked what' s upsetting him he tells his teacher one of the other kids hit him when he' s been sitting by himself all along. He travels in a lift club and i' ve had to change lift clubs 3 times already as he doesn' t seem to get along with other kids, he' s really happy when we are home together or playing with the neighbours kids but if i dare mention creche then he bursts into tears. When i spoke to his transport driver to find out if maybe my son gets into fights with other kids, he said No but also mentioned that my son does not interact with other kids in his combi. Is my child depressed??

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Our expert says:
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Try posting this query also on the Parenting forum, and see what other parents ( in adition to our relaible readers ) might suggest.
Three is really very young to face a nursery-school atmosphere, even a creche, depending on how it is run. All this probably does not mean that he is depressed, but not feling ready to be on his own with people he finds strangers to him, and happier with his own family, and local friends he already knows. COuld he be kept at home a year longer, with the help of a caregiver ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Liza | 2009-04-15

Is some of the neighbours kids that he plays with at home, also in a creche? If he has to go to creche it might help if he already knows someone there with whom he has already been socially active with. Some children are very sensitive to rejection and are scared of trying to make new friends just in case they aren' t accepted.

Perhaps you could also ask the caregivers at the creche to help out by sending one of the more extroverted kids to his solitary self with a toy that they can both play with - like blocks or cars. And somehow a hug from a 3 yr old girl wraps that girl around my 3 yr old nephews'  little finger - where he is normally very selfish and bratty.

I hope someone else can help out more. My boys are already much older and I have the memory of a goldfish  )

Good Luck

Reply to Liza

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