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Question
Posted by: Motlalentwa | 2012/05/03

Child Maintenace

I am in a relationship with a women with two children, she is working but is understandably struggling financially as she is paying off debt left by her parents. The problem is the father of the two children is not paying any maintenance and she does not want to take the father to the maintenance court as she feels that will tarnish her reputaion. I am also working and this situation is putting me under pressure as I have to maintain my two childred from my previous relationship. I have tried speaking to her but to no avail.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I entirely agree with Maria. Your friend is struggling nobly to pay off other people's debts. Some people might think ( but less, these days ) that her reputation was tarnished when she had children with a man who neglected her and the children he fathered with her ; but even an idiot wouldn't think any the less of her for going to Maintenance Court to force the deadbeat dad to pay proper maintenance for his children.
She owes this to herself, and especially to her children, and to all other women and children, to confront a deadbeat "father" and teach such men that they have an unavoidable and inescapable duty to pay for their children. Any animal can have sex and create children - it takes a real man to face his responsibilities and provide proper care for those children. Mothers usually do this, and shouldn't allow men to avoid taking proper responsibility for their actions and choices.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Maria | 2012/05/03

Why would taking him to maintenance court tarnish her reputation? If anything it''s his reputation that will be shot, as he is a man who helped make two children and now doesn''t do his duty in caring for them. Tell her that she is in fact being a negligent mother if she is struggling to make ends meet, yet not using the means available to make the father do his bit.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/05/03

I entirely agree with Maria. Your friend is struggling nobly to pay off other people's debts. Some people might think ( but less, these days ) that her reputation was tarnished when she had children with a man who neglected her and the children he fathered with her ; but even an idiot wouldn't think any the less of her for going to Maintenance Court to force the deadbeat dad to pay proper maintenance for his children.
She owes this to herself, and especially to her children, and to all other women and children, to confront a deadbeat "father" and teach such men that they have an unavoidable and inescapable duty to pay for their children. Any animal can have sex and create children - it takes a real man to face his responsibilities and provide proper care for those children. Mothers usually do this, and shouldn't allow men to avoid taking proper responsibility for their actions and choices.

Reply to cybershrink

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