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Question
Posted by: Mom2boys | 2011/05/23

Child behaviour

Hi Doc.....My oldest son, aged almost 8 yr...is a very clever and tallented boy...but he is also VERY sensitive. I''ve been worried about his agitation and emotional outbursts for almost 3 yr now. The last month or so he has been struggling with relationships towards his peers...he often feel that he is the victim of bullies or that his friends are emotionally hurting him. He still enjoys some of his friends and shows interest in new activities. What worries me is that this morning is the 2nd time in a month that he didn''t want to go to school..first he said that another child was bullying him...I worked this out with his teacher and it went better...Today he complains that he struggles with the workload in school. He is a very clever boy who almost gets 100% for everything. His teacher says that he is very serious and takes stuff very personal but does seem to like school....I took him to good playtherapist a month ago and she was worried if he might be suffering from Temper dysregulation dysorder. I read the critiria this morning, but he doesn''t fit all of it..She suggested that I should take him to a good psychologist for evaluation and maybe meds. Both me and my husband is hesitant of meds and don''t want to hang a label around his neck.....What''s your view on all of this?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

In trying to understand what may be happening here, i's important to assess what's really happening to him. Many kids, especially intelligent and/or sensitive ones, get bullied, and dealing with this must include involving the school to discipline and control the bullies.
Maybe he at times has unrealisic expectations from some of his friends ?
Really intelligent kids who can get very high marks, can develop unnecessary but none-the-less troublesome worries - getting 90 % becomes worrying if you're expecting 100 %.
Play Therapists may have a minor role to play with some kids, but are not qualified to make a psychiatric diagnosis, especially an uncommon one like this. All kids met SOME criteria of some conditions, and what's normal. The point of the serts of criteria is that ALL criteria need to be met before one wonders if this is a real issue in the kid.
The different issues you describe don't sound like a disorder as such, though a good child psychologist, apart from being actually qualified to make diagnoses, may be able to suggest some rather minor ( but skilled ) counselling to help him adjust more comfortably to using his skills and avoiding being too sensitive or worried.
I very much doubt that medication would be appropriate

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Our users say:
Posted by: Maria | 2011/05/23

A psychologist cannot prescribe meds anyway, only a doctor can do that. Please do take him to a psychologist or psychiatrist who works with children for an assessment, and perhaps some therapy to help him cope with the situation. If you tell us where you are then someone might be able to recommend psychologist in your area.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/05/23

In trying to understand what may be happening here, i's important to assess what's really happening to him. Many kids, especially intelligent and/or sensitive ones, get bullied, and dealing with this must include involving the school to discipline and control the bullies.
Maybe he at times has unrealisic expectations from some of his friends ?
Really intelligent kids who can get very high marks, can develop unnecessary but none-the-less troublesome worries - getting 90 % becomes worrying if you're expecting 100 %.
Play Therapists may have a minor role to play with some kids, but are not qualified to make a psychiatric diagnosis, especially an uncommon one like this. All kids met SOME criteria of some conditions, and what's normal. The point of the serts of criteria is that ALL criteria need to be met before one wonders if this is a real issue in the kid.
The different issues you describe don't sound like a disorder as such, though a good child psychologist, apart from being actually qualified to make diagnoses, may be able to suggest some rather minor ( but skilled ) counselling to help him adjust more comfortably to using his skills and avoiding being too sensitive or worried.
I very much doubt that medication would be appropriate

Reply to cybershrink

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