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Question
Posted by: Sheena | 2010-04-26

Child behaviour..

Hi there I dont know if I am at the right place..
I have a daughter..1year and 6 months old..bright and friendly..
she was in hospital a week ago for 5 days..
My Husband and I had to go to work but visited her during our lunch breaks and I spend the nights with her..
She goes to a nursing school and enjoys it..
Since she got out of the hospital she wont leave me alone for a minute..skreems her head of when I do the dishes and dont pick her up even though he can see me..?
wont even go to her grandparents we see every day..?
she use to love baths but tries o bite me when i was her hands..had a drip in one hand..can this be it..? But one cant see the drup spot anymore..?

My questions..

1) is this still from being in hospital?
2)or is it a fase..?
3)how can I get her to be her own self..?
4)Help wanted please..!

kind regards..hope to hear from you soon..Sheena

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sounds as though she is reacting to her experience in hospital, feeling that you two deserted her and left her there, and fearing that this may happen again. And she's a bit young to make it easy to explain this to her in words. Its not a pase in the sense of something that happens to all kids, but its among the range of normal responses to her experience of being in hospital. Usually the child settles down in a few weeks. If not, a child shrink ,may be able to help

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Purple | 2010-04-26

AT this age most children are extremely attached to their parents and being away from them in an unfamiliar environment is quite traumatic.

I think her behaviour is quite normal given the circumstances. Remember that the only way she has to tell you she is terrified you will vanish like that again (because in her mind that is what happened) is to scream blue murder if she isn''t actually touching you.
Why not fill a basin of water next to the sink and give her a chair to stand on and let her play with some plastic plates etc while you wash the dishes. She''ll make a very watery mess but you can bath her afterwards and mop the floor and clean the sink area.

Make sure you hold her and carry her as much as possible and tell her that you aren''t going to leave her. She will understand what you are saying.

Did you prepare her in any way for the trip to hospital? My son had grommets at 20 months and I spent three days reading him a book on going to hospital, telling him I would be there the whole time with him and that we would both be coming home again together, acting the whole thing out with his teddy bear. The anesthetist told me he had never worked with a child who was so calm before an operation. When he came out of theatre he promptly bit a hole in my shoulder, but I think that he was in pain and feeling groggy right then.

Even though you can''t see the drip mark in your child''s hand it is probably still bruised. I''ve had drips in my hand and it hurst for a long time after the drip is out, at least a week would be normal for bruising in the area even if you can''t see the bruise on the surface.
She might also not have been treated too gently while being bathed in hospital. After my experiences with nurses since having my son I doubt there are more than two in the country who chose it as a career because they have a desire to care for people and most should not be working with people at all, especially not children. (sorry to the few kind nurses out there, some of whom I''ve had the pleasure to meet and who have been complimted through the hospital sofficial channels, I''m sure you are used to the other sort reflecting badly on the profession as a whole though).

You need to sit her grandparents down and explain how out of sorts she is feeling and ask that when they visit every day that apart from saying hello to her that they don''t try to hold her or take her from you, but that they just sit around and do what they usually do and with time she will start to voluntarily interact with them again. Tell them it isn''t a reflection on them, she is just feeling very insecure at the moment.

Please understand how your child must be feeling right now. She needs love and support from you. Yes, it is frustrating that you can''t go to the toilet without her joining you, but the less you push her away the sooner this phase will be over.

Reply to Purple
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010-04-26

Sounds as though she is reacting to her experience in hospital, feeling that you two deserted her and left her there, and fearing that this may happen again. And she's a bit young to make it easy to explain this to her in words. Its not a pase in the sense of something that happens to all kids, but its among the range of normal responses to her experience of being in hospital. Usually the child settles down in a few weeks. If not, a child shrink ,may be able to help

Reply to cybershrink

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