advertisement
Question
Posted by: M | 2010/03/23

Child

CS. I moved two weeks ago. Out of my husbands house. My 4-year old is having a hard time with it. She has developed all sorts of weird fears. She is scared of putting her feet in the water cause they will grow, she is scared of going to the loo, she is scared that the snail will do something to her....after I threw it in the bin.....she asked if I flushed it down the loo...then she would be too scared to go. She woke up screaming, when I went to console her she pushed me away frantically...very strange, as I have always been the one to calm her. She goes into a flat spin because of a flying ant....I killed one here, but she insisted that I also go &  kill the one in her dads house....even though he had killed it already. She cried unconsolably about that. I am not sure what to do with her. The dad also keeps sending me messages via the kids...saying that he loves me. I dont respond as I feel this is a way of manipulating the children &  it confuses them. He asked if there was space for him in our flat this morning, I said no. The 4-year old heard me, she said that I was not being vey nice. It cant be good for them to get all the conflicting messages. I wish he would just stop &  leave me alone. I moved into the flat on the property to let the kids have access to both of us as much as they want.

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

This sounds like parts of an adjustment reaction to your separation, quite possibly exaggerated by your husband using the child to convey messages to you, which may disturb her far more than he intends or realizes. Communicate with him somehow that you don't want to discuss your decision to leave, but that anything he wants to say to you should be by e-mail, and NOT through the children, as it is clearly upsetting them and inappropriate.
What do other readers think ?

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

1
Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/03/24

This sounds like parts of an adjustment reaction to your separation, quite possibly exaggerated by your husband using the child to convey messages to you, which may disturb her far more than he intends or realizes. Communicate with him somehow that you don't want to discuss your decision to leave, but that anything he wants to say to you should be by e-mail, and NOT through the children, as it is clearly upsetting them and inappropriate.
What do other readers think ?

Reply to cybershrink

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement