Posted by: AD | 2009-01-29

Cheats and calls it a " Mistake" 

My Husband has been posting ads on the internet, asking women to contact him for *** while is away from home on business, he also has been emailing some woman that in interested in couples, making plans to meet her and sending pics etc. I confronted him and he says that he was just curious and that it was a mistake and that he hasnt had any physical contact whatsoever. How can i trust that nothing happened when he was away? it has been going on for several months, this game of placing ads for S** etc. he cant seem to get it that he was being unfaithful to me by flirting and hunting for women who will " make his fantasy come true"  as he calls it..i am insulted , i am asked him to leave do i move on? do i forgive him> ? what will fix this?

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Our expert says:
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Sounds a sadly familia story. And another variety of double standards --- when I do it, it's a mistake ; if YOU did it, it would be an outrage. You can't assume that he has not acted on these elaborate preparations for infidelity, and could be at risk for HIV or other STD from him. Why should you forgive him ? YOu may, evbentually, choose to do so if it turns out to be sensible. but you are by no means required to do so. See a personal counsellor to sort out your own feelings and reactions, and consider marriage counselling as a way of exploring whethwer he can indeed reform his sloppy and selfish ways

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Our users say:
Posted by: anon | 2009-01-30

Funny my partner does likewise....before his company sends him to another country he hooks up via internet and meets whomever it is when he gets he is lying...mine sits on his laptop all night says it' s work....wont let me look at this so called work....enough is enough I am out....they are filty liars and believe in their lies...I believed him for 8 years....always u get I am sorry...never do it was a joke played by friends.....until you see porn on his never stops....move on with your life girl...

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Posted by: Oh please ! | 2009-01-29

Do me a favour girl, where have you been all your life ? No " mistakes"  " carrying out research"  (is always a good one) " seeing what would happen"  " won' t do it again"  Come on, get real !! Once a cheater, liar and emotionally and morally corrupt , these creeps can NEVER come back and there can be NO forgiveness or second chance. Dump him and do it quick. For my part Marriage Counselling, talking about it, trying again, is simply a waste of time. Face the facks, you have a big loser on your hands and the sooner you kick him out the better. Just do it, you can and you will be far better off. The Doc is spoit on STD' s and AIDS are a huge life threatening risk and seemingly this so called MAN has no problem in exposing you to it all. Think about THAT !! Good luck

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