Our expert says:
Presumably you do believe that it happned, but cannot consider it aceptable. It is so understandable that you regret what happened, and feel angry over being so trusting, etc --- but ruminating over these issues is not helpful for you. Of course trust was broken and you remain suspicious. Personal counsleng would be wise, to work on your own self-esteem and self-respect. If you wanted for some reason to stay with him, marriage counselling would also have been needed. But as he remains emotionally abusive, you should leave, and he would deserve no further chances to be abusive.
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