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Question
Posted by: THANDO | 2010-11-17

Cheating husband and deny everything

I have been with this man for 6years and paid lobola 4years ago and now we staying together planning to get married next year, but everything changed when I saw the mail from his laptop. The mails comes from a lady friend that he works with, some of the mails reads from the lady " I Love u so much, I wish I met u before you were occupied, I want to have you in my life completely not in piece/bit by bit"  and my husband responce was " sometimes in life we have to deal with our decisions that we take and stick with them for life but that does not mean i dont Love you, I love you more by day and when i''m with you i feel i''m in another planet"  another mail that I can not take out of my mind reads, the lady" whats up for supper, i''m so tired of KFC how about some veggies? (and she attached a veggies pornograph)and my husband responce " yoh! i''m so horny, how about number 15, cant wait"  and so many mails that they sent thanking each other for the time they spent and good sex they hav the previous day

Now, when I met this man he had twins (boys) and they were about 3months but he said they were not together anymore with the mother of the kids, so I didnt have problem with that, I took him with the kids and we staying together, and I have a boy with him also (25months)

Pls help me I really dont know what to do now because he denies everything and he says they are just playing there''s nothing going on between them, i''m hurt and angry and no one to talk to because everyone around me loves and trusts him, my family loves him so much, they always tell me to take a good care of him because he is such a good person

I have worked so hard for this relationship and now it has to end just like that

Pls help

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Its not so much that he is "occupied" but that he has a squatter.

I'm so sorry to hear about your problem - this man is treating you in a shabby way ( and the other woman is foolish if she expects him to treat her much better in the long run ). Remember, when you met him he already had twins by another woman but had walked out on her.

Of course he's lying - there is no such thing as "just playing" in the manner they are communicating. And if there were, it would still be cheating on you.

Are your family not interested in hearing your point of view and seeing or hearing the evidence that he is now in at least his third relationship ? There's no point in forgiving someone who is still lying about what he is actually doing - maybe see a counsellor to work out what would be best for you and your child, and let him look after his twins.

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7
Our users say:
Posted by: Happiness | 2010-11-17

Usually your partner will give you good enough reasons to snoop around his stuff. People who have nothing to hide, hide nothing.

Reply to Happiness
Posted by: HUH | 2010-11-17

I dont condone what he''s doing but why are you snooping through his laptop?

Reply to HUH
Posted by: bett | 2010-11-17

i feel for you sweety, u must be going through hell. he is a fool. and so is the woman he is cheating with. all i can say is he does not deserve you. he is playing you for a fool. if you can, you should leave him, that would teach him a lesson to start using his head to think. bottomline, your relationship will never be the same, he is not worth u

Reply to bett
Posted by: QQ | 2010-11-17

I am afriad all the posts is 100% accurate. He will not change. Set yourself free...

Reply to QQ
Posted by: mel | 2010-11-17

send him and his KFC and veggies chic packing lol

Reply to mel
Posted by: Anon | 2010-11-17

Thando luv, I have yet to see a man cheat and admitted it.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010-11-17

Its not so much that he is "occupied" but that he has a squatter.

I'm so sorry to hear about your problem - this man is treating you in a shabby way ( and the other woman is foolish if she expects him to treat her much better in the long run ). Remember, when you met him he already had twins by another woman but had walked out on her.

Of course he's lying - there is no such thing as "just playing" in the manner they are communicating. And if there were, it would still be cheating on you.

Are your family not interested in hearing your point of view and seeing or hearing the evidence that he is now in at least his third relationship ? There's no point in forgiving someone who is still lying about what he is actually doing - maybe see a counsellor to work out what would be best for you and your child, and let him look after his twins.

Reply to cybershrink

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