Our expert says:
Usually, one has no need to send e-mails to people with whom you have a close working relationship. If this relationship he apparently has with her is continuing and extending, and he is increasingly withdrawing from any real relationship with you, this is indeed serious. Marriage counselling would obviously be something that should be tried, but he may be unwilling to try it.
When he takes things to the extent of having his mistress in your own house, that is even more insulting and unacceptable. To then call YOU the lowest of the low is even more impertinent.
You need good legal advice, so that if you do decide to proceed to divorce, you can protect your own rights, and have a court decide on the available facts, on issues like maintenance for you and the children, and visitation rights and custody. A court will take seriously whatever preference the child himself expresses. It may be that the other woman will be rather less interested in having your husband all to herself, and in suddenly needing to mother a teenage boy.
Your husband has to face the fact that he can't have it both ways, to be married and to have a permanent mistress. He needs to grow up and try thinking like a real man.
As for your son, one must sympathize with his unwillingness to have to choose between his parents, but calm talking with him is still useful. Why should he fel he HAS to stay with his dad, or at least to say so ?
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