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Question
Posted by: Nana | 2009-01-27

Cheating Hubby

We been together for 12 years now ,but married for 3 years ,he cheated on me first time just three months after our marriage ,i was devestated ,he explain everything and i forgave him ,i love the guy so much ,maybe because he is the first guy who even broke my virginity .
We always argure about massages that i always find in his Phone ,but he keep on making me feel as if i am the one who is wrong all the time and that i have low self esteem ,and i am insecure about my self ,I felt like i am not giving enough .We have a son who is 2 years ,and now we were planning another baby.
I have always known that he loves me and there is nothing he can' t do for me,he just bought me a car and i was so pleased and exited about it.

Yesterday i found out that he is having affair with someone ,i found SMS of him explaing how much he loved the other person and how much the other person deserve in life ,he explain all in detail ,when i approach him he first didn' t admit ,but lastly he send me an sms and explain that the reason he did it is becos the other person help him finacially ,and give him business(he is a business man)he explain that the other reason is because i don' t reach climax when we make love which i never complain about or make him feel as if he is the cause ,i have accepted it and told my self that aslong as i climax when i masterbate is fine is my husband and i love him.
I can' t take this anymore ,please advise me .....What should i do devorce him? take him back and first go for cancelling? what...

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I'm hoping those are messages, rather than massages, in his phone ! Don't go ahead with another baby till these issues have been sorted out, and try to persuage him to join you in marriage counselling ( eg through FAMSA ) emphasizing how it could make the marriage much happier for him. ( and of course it would help with problems like the apparent lack of climax, which isn't you r"fault" but a shared problem. )
But you would need to be sure that the marriage is still viable. Uou say there is nothing he wouldn't do for you, but there was one very important thing he WOULD'NT do for you --- to remain faithful.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: oliver | 2009-01-28

This is shameful he even have the density to explain the reason why....

Moving out of the house is the best option in this situation, men tend to disrespect you especially when you are staying with him, move out go to your parents house for at least a month you' ll see he come crolling to you begging for forgiveness

Reply to oliver
Posted by: ss | 2009-01-28

Hes having an affair... oh my ............ Leave him.... u deserve better.. He just keeps on expaling it away everytime... girl u can' t buy affection and love with a new car.. didn' t he buy it out of guillt.. wake up he is never going to change... do u really want to risk your live and your childs? ther is somethingg called AIDS...

Reply to ss
Posted by: Make tracks | 2009-01-28

Once a cheater always a cheater. If you can live with his deception and lack of respect for you and willingness to put your life at risk by giving you aids, then you are not respecting yourself and that' s sad. Just get rid of him and do it now !! Good luck

Reply to Make tracks
Posted by: Dont take it Lying down gal. | 2009-01-27

i just think you are being too easy on this man, you need to make him realise that as much as he has excuses as to why he is cheating on you, you can also independently make decisions about the way you would like you life to go. I believe if you have been talking to him since 11yrs ago, you will continue talking for many years to come and you will be a very depressed woman, no car in the world can mend the way you feel inside everytime you find him cheating and he shouldnt make money from other women at the cost of your marriage. The man needs to be taught a serious lesson, and pity men never realise what they have till its gone. You can be so much better than what you are right now and no councillor can change a man that doesnt want to change. Take that from me girl.

Reply to Dont take it Lying down gal.

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