Our expert says:
As I always say, the major problem with snooping is that its hard to use whatever you discover, without revealing yourself to be a snoop, and thus giving the other person the chance to make a big fuss about that, and to try to avoid discussion of the more important issue.
If you're right about what you found ( if you're not mistaking inncent messages about genuine business meetings, for instance ) then there's no point in giving her anything for Valentine's day. And she would have a lot to be defensive about.
But if she is really cheating, either you try ( and its much harder than you think ) to ignore it and pretend it isn't happening, or you HAVE to discuss it with her, as calmly as possible, but arguments may be necessary to try to sort this out.
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