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Question
Posted by: Mary | 2009/10/22

Cheating Fiance' 

Thanks for your replies. His relationship with her has definitiely been sexual - he has admitted that. My other problem is that he shows no interest in our sex life. He seems to force himself to perform with the help of a Viagra on a Saturday morning with great predictability which really upsets me. So if he is needing tablets ot perform with me, why does he need to go to her? I have asked him and he does not seem to have an answer. I actually do not see how anyone in my situation could fail to become obsessed with his infidelity. And yes, this is for real even at 60. I also thought that his age might be on my side but it appear not.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Predictability can be a real passion-killer. Yet with her, is he also needing Viagra ? Ot is he exhausting himself with her and not you ? But don't lets confuse libido ( the desire to perform sexually ) with actually being able to perform.
For you to be very bothered indeed about his infidelity is entirely understandable. What concerned me from your description was the extent to which you seem to have been consumed by the effort of checking up, when you apparently already know what is happening, and the extent to which this checking was limiting your ability to enjoy your own life, rather than restricting his transgressions. Wouldn't it be better just to end the relationship with him, and to move on ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: almost mad | 2009/10/22

You need to get a grip. I think the fact that he forces himself to sleep with you is just sad and sick. If he doesnt want to be with you he must leave. Or better yet, why are you still with this loser?

Reply to almost mad
Posted by: cybershrink | 2009/10/22

Predictability can be a real passion-killer. Yet with her, is he also needing Viagra ? Ot is he exhausting himself with her and not you ? But don't lets confuse libido ( the desire to perform sexually ) with actually being able to perform.
For you to be very bothered indeed about his infidelity is entirely understandable. What concerned me from your description was the extent to which you seem to have been consumed by the effort of checking up, when you apparently already know what is happening, and the extent to which this checking was limiting your ability to enjoy your own life, rather than restricting his transgressions. Wouldn't it be better just to end the relationship with him, and to move on ?

Reply to cybershrink

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