Our expert says:
She has no hold on him other than what he choses to allow her to hold. 60 is a tad past "mid-life". Has your concern been about him literally seeing her, say, meeting for a cup of coffee, or do you realistically fear that he is having a sexual and/or emotional affair with her ?
But it sounds, and you seem to recognize this, that on your side this has grown out of all proportion. This now sounds more like an obsession, taking up an increasing amount of your time and energy, and to the point that no amount of "finding nothing" will satisfy you.
For your own sake, you should see a good local psychologist and frankly discuss these problems with him / her, for a proper assessment and the chance to work through these worries that are now disproportionately onsessing you
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