Our expert says:
After any first serious breach of trust, trust needs to be earned again, not merely given as a gift. He seems to have been awfully skilled at convincing you of differing attempts to explain away his contacts with her - but even if they were "just" chatting or telephonic, done secretly, they were still a variety of cheating, and someothing he should not have done, obviously knowing how much it would upset you.
Isn't it utterly obvious that : he intends to continue this physical and emotional relationship with her, permanently, and to lie to you about it ? That to him marriage is NOT any holy sacrament ? That he will ALWAYS lie about this ?
Neither you nor anyone else, however skilled, will persuade him to see the error of his ways and to become honest and trustworthy and faithful.
Look after youself. See a counsellor and a lawyer, and face the facts, however unpleasant they may be
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