Posted by: Anon | 2009-08-13


Dear cybershrink, I started an affair a few months ago with a man I have wanted for so many years, everything just happened. And at the same time fell in love with another married man, my best friends husband. So as you can see I am screwed up and not a great friend.

I started a new job a few months ago, which is at the same company where these two men work which make the situation difficult as they require my attention sexually on a regular basis, I have decided to stop these affairs because I want to make the best of my new work and my marriage. How do I start my new life and leave the guilt behind?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

These things actually do NOT "just happen" --- you allow them to happen, or you don't allow them to happen. Do I understand you that you are married, started an affair with another man ( you don't mention whether or not he, too, is married ) and then with another married man who is your best friend's husband ? You are indeed a lousy friend, and unfaithful toeveryone involved. You say these two men "require" your sexual attentions. How is that ? If they ask for it, refuse them and remind them that you are all married. If they somehow pressure you to have sex with them to keep your job, that is sexual harassment for which they could be sacked, and about which you should complain to the top management.
Stop the affairs indeed, and see a personal counsellor and then a marriage counsellor together with your unfortunate husband

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Our users say:
Posted by: anon | 2009-08-25

Rob women might be w***** as you say but that certainly doesn' t make the men in this story innocent. It takes a man and a women to tango....

Reply to anon
Posted by: Rob | 2009-08-18

Women are liars and cheater, they love to be victims hell knowing they whore and cheat when they live the house. if somebody abuses you why not leave? the next thing we know there' s HIV and the poor man is blamed by the same whore that brought it OR the kid is raised by a man who did not father it. So women stop acting all holy u are whores as much as you consider us.

Reply to Rob
Posted by: Rob | 2009-08-18


Reply to Rob
Posted by: R | 2009-08-18

Yip, as I thought!! The emotional abuse story!! Sit down for a while and really think!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHO IS ABUSING WHO!!!!

I know how it feels to be cheated on and the reason was the abuse one!! Now a few years later she admits to being the abuser for neglecting me!!!

Reply to R
Posted by: Anna | 2009-08-17

Well said, Anon. We cannot judge other people for the things they do.

Reply to Anna
Posted by: anon | 2009-08-14

R, I think If you have never been exposed to this situation you dont have the right to judge.... You don' t know what emotional abuse went on in my house, how it feels when you cant talk to your husband anymore, when every conversation leads to a fight, yes I have done quite an amount of damage, but at least I am trying to stop all this nonsense.

An woman wants emotional support not just sex, and if you dont get it at home your heart are bound to go to someone else that tells you how sexy and wonderfull you are...

Have a great day!

Reply to anon
Posted by: R | 2009-08-14

And I thought men are bad!!!! Flower, you are using your husband!!! Leave him or love him!! You women know that you now qualify for the title of w###e don' t you?

Reply to R
Posted by: Flower | 2009-08-14

I have been having an affair on and of for the last 4 years, only recenctly it develop with me falling head over heels inlove with him. Now he has met someelse,told me to take a back step for a while, I still love him but won' t get divorce but not giving up what I have finance wise. It very difficult to get out of a love a affair.I don' t love my husband, not at all.

Reply to Flower
Posted by: ntebo | 2009-08-13

i ' ve been cheating 4 9 years i met this man 2 years before my husband proposed,we have the affair 5 months before i got married,he is married,its very very hard to get out of it.i' ve tried its not very easy to get out,even 2 day we are still together,i hate it and myself.

Reply to ntebo
Posted by: me | 2009-08-13

hey there
I have been there almost 2 years ago. I was involved with a married man as well as a guy at work. It became quite difficult to juggle and besides I started hating the person I saw in the mirror , so I ended things. i still feel guilty about it, I have been for councelling which helped. The guilt does not go away, I think thats the price you pay (after cheating on your loved one)and you have to live with it.
All the best

Reply to me

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