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Question
Posted by: sister in law | 2008/10/13

cheater

please help
my partner'  s brother is cheating on his wife, i know this for sure. me and the wife are not best friends or dont even hang out much, but i cant stand what he is doing to her!!! she got a small baby and 2 other kids under 9. do i tell her?
i would want to know.

any ideas on an anon tip off?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Discus this with your partner, who can and probably should talk to his brother about this.
And if she asks you, be honest. If there are problems, it is NOT your fault --- it is squarely HIS fault. Don't ever allow a selfish cheater to make anyone else feel than any of the natural consequences of his choices and actions are anyone else's fault. Tabby's suggestion is one option.
Let us know what happens.

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13
Our users say:
Posted by: SR | 2008/10/14

Tabby = you little bomb dropper you :)

Reply to SR
Posted by: J | 2008/10/13

WELL THERES YOUR ANSWER SIL GO GET THAT SIM CARD NOW BUY GIRLS ..TABBY GOOD ONE ,,,BYE ALL

Reply to J
Posted by: SN | 2008/10/13

I agree with tabby, pls buy that sim card fast and send those SMS, the bastard must be stopped for the sake of those kids.

Reply to SN
Posted by: tabby | 2008/10/13

J - i hear what you are saying, and yes it can cause difficulty, BUT no one has to know. As long as SIL keeps quiet, she is safe.

I sent my sms 8 months ago, and to this day no one has suspected that i sent the sms.

Goodluck SIL. You will be okay.

Reply to tabby
Posted by: J | 2008/10/13

tabby what a briliant idea the only problem to that is that its her brother and its bound to cause huge ill feelings in the fam ,,,but iam afraid your last qouta was so spot on ....what if his skelm has got some nasty stuff and his going to pass it on to his wife OK CUT THE CRAP GO TELL HER QUICK . hey sil good luck with the rest of the fam.....

Reply to J
Posted by: LS | 2008/10/13

I would give the cheater the ultimatum - he must tell her or you will. Maybe that way you don' t have to be the bearer of bad news.

Reply to LS
Posted by: tabby | 2008/10/13

Do what i did. Buy a sim card at PEP, load 12 rand and send an annon sms letting her know.

The girl i sent it to, her husband admitted that same day after her receiving the sms that he was indeed having an affair.
Try to get as much info as possible for her to follow your lead, eg name, number etc....

She must know whats going on. Today AIDS is just to easy to spread, and she is in danger from his disgusting actions.

Its not nice doing it, but someone has to let her know whats going on.

Goodluck

Reply to tabby
Posted by: sil | 2008/10/13

she not a stupid woman, she knows her rights and im sure she will take him for everything that she deserves.
but how do i face the brother again after she knows, i will know deep down its my fault...

Reply to sil
Posted by: J | 2008/10/13

it sounds as though you owe it upon yoursekf to tell her ..this is what you do .put yourself in her shoes with her kids and small baby and her finacial position and ask yourself if you would want to be told ..then ask yourself what would hapen wants she knows ..and what would the outcome be then will u be able to face her wants the doo doo has hit the fan..

Reply to J
Posted by: sil | 2008/10/13

im sure shes gona ask me tomorrow, as we will be giving me a lift to the dr. it dont know...i want her to know, but am afraid it might put strain on my own relationship.

Reply to sil
Posted by: J | 2008/10/13

in that case iam afraid you will have to be honest and tell her or you could act dumb and say you dont know anything ?????

Reply to J
Posted by: sil | 2008/10/13

what if she asks me, i think she is suspecting something cos she smsed me on saturday to ask if he is with us...he is always by us so she might think i would know womething. what do i say?

Reply to sil
Posted by: J | 2008/10/13

be careful sometimes people think they are helping and then all of a sudden they wil turn around and say its your fault for interfering .you know the right thing is to tell her but it might backfire and you will land up being blamned. let someone else in the family know perhaps they might say something to her...good luck

Reply to J

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