One can't help feeling sorry for your husband, who you chose to deceive and cheat on for so long. DO see a marriage counsellor together and work on this. Of course you will by now have deleted all the messy messages you unwisely saved, but work together with the counsellor to work out what might heal the situation.
YOur husband probably deserves a far better spouse than you have ever been, so divorce mught be the very best thing for him ; but explore this with an experienced counsellor.
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